Lockheed Martin Releases Touching Mother’s Day Ad Thanking Moms For ‘Raising Our Future Customer Base’
BETHESDA, MARYLAND — In a bold departure from traditional corporate holiday messaging, global aerospace and defense conglomerate Lockheed Martin debuted a touching Mother's Day campaign this morning, thanking American mothers for their vital role in "incubating the human capital necessary to sustain our multi-billion-dollar quarterly revenues." The 60-second commercial, which aired during Sunday morning news programs, features slow-motion footage of mothers…
Galactic Inflation Hits Hard As Single Portion Of Blue Milk Now Costs 45 Credits
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — Families across the Outer Rim are waking up…
Lockheed Martin Releases Touching Mother’s Day Ad Thanking Moms For ‘Raising Our Future Customer Base’
BETHESDA, MARYLAND — In a bold departure from traditional corporate holiday messaging, global…
After Careful Reflection, Keir Starmer Concludes Massive Labour Defeat Caused By Everyone Except Keir Starmer
LONDON, UK — Following a disastrous week of local election results that…
Katie Porter Tries To Woo Suburban Moms By Berating Babies
IRVINE, CALIFORNIA — In a desperate bid to humanize her image ahead…
Balenciaga Introduces First-Ever Designer Adrenochrome IV Bag For The Busy Celeb On The Go
NEW YORK — Stating that the modern celebrity simply doesn't have the…
Local Canada Goose Disgusted Watching Immigrant Poop On Toronto Beach
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Staring in disgusted silence as an immigrant squatted and…
Dead Voters Beg Congress To Pass SAVE Act So They Can Finally Rest In Peace
U.S. —Citing extreme exhaustion and a desperate desire for eternal slumber, a…
Galactic Inflation Hits Hard As Single Portion Of Blue Milk Now Costs 45 Credits
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — Families across the Outer Rim are waking up…
Gavin Newsom’s Tough Guy Photo Op Undermined By Extremely Gay Power Tool Stance
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Governor Gavin Newsom’s choreographed photo opportunity at a California…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Justin Trudeau Offers Maduro His Mounted Police To Trample Unruly Venezuelan Protesters
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After watching the protests against Nicolás Maduro in Venezuela in response to the election results, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has offered the South American president his infamous Canadian…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
