Laid-Off Spirit Airlines Employee Finds Comforting, Familiar Threat Of Physical Violence At New Waffle House Job
ATLANTA, GEORGIA —Following the official permanent grounding of Spirit Airlines last week, former gate agent Jerome Higgins reported that he has successfully transitioned to the graveyard shift at a local Waffle House, citing a desperate need to replace the adrenaline rush of daily, unhinged customer brawls. According to Higgins, the skill sets required for both positions are nearly identical, noting…
Democrats Condemn Shooter’s White Half For Trying To Assassinate Trump
WASHINGTON — Following the chaotic arrest of shooter Cole Allen, prominent Democratic…
Laid-Off Spirit Airlines Employee Finds Comforting, Familiar Threat Of Physical Violence At New Waffle House Job
ATLANTA, GEORGIA —Following the official permanent grounding of Spirit Airlines last week,…
Tim Walz Blasts FBI Daycare Raids For Leaving Thousands Of Fake Children Without Care
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — In a fiery and deeply emotional press conference…
King Charles Presents Trump With Gift Of Keir Starmer Frozen In Carbonite
WASHINGTON — In a grand gesture aimed at reaffirming the Special Relationship…
Secret Service Replaces Range Targets With Photos Of Fellow Agents After Realizing It’s The Only Thing They Can Consistently Hit
WASHINGTON — Following a series of incidents in which multiple agents shot…
Biden Defends Ilhan Omar By Recounting His Own Harrowing Service In The Trenches Of World War 9
REHOBOTH BEACH, DELAWARE— Coming to the defense of Congresswoman Ilhan Omar following…
‘No Kings’ Protesters Clarify They Don’t Oppose Actual King Currently Visiting White House
WASHINGTON — Chaos erupted outside the White House gates as thousands of…
Democrats Condemn Shooter’s White Half For Trying To Assassinate Trump
WASHINGTON — Following the chaotic arrest of shooter Cole Allen, prominent Democratic…
CNN Accuses Trump Of Being ‘Aggressively Uncooperative’ For Refusing To Be Assassinated
WASHINGTON — In a blistering prime-time segment following Saturday night’s chaos at…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
British Man Jailed For 10 Years After Dog Accidentally ‘Likes’ Anti-UK Government Post
LONDON - In a shocking display of the UK's escalating war on free speech, 32-year-old Nigel Fletcher was sentenced to 10 years in prison today for "inciting public disorder" after…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
