‘Empire Strikes Back’ Scene Redubbed For New York TV: ‘No, I Am Your Non-Gestating Parent’
NEW YORK, NY — The iconic scene from The Empire Strikes Back in which Darth Vader reveals to Luke Skywalker that he is his father has been redubbed for New York television audiences after state officials determined that the deeply offensive, outdated word “father” no longer complies with the state’s updated parental terminology. The scene, widely regarded as one of…
Keir Starmer Wondering If He’s Still Invited To Next Year’s World Leaders’ Coke Party
LONDON, UK — Pacing the living room of his remarkably quiet home,…
‘Empire Strikes Back’ Scene Redubbed For New York TV: ‘No, I Am Your Non-Gestating Parent’
NEW YORK, NY — The iconic scene from The Empire Strikes Back…
UK Officials Ask Public To Stop Interfering With Government’s Efforts To Ignore The Border
LONDON, UK — British officials are asking members of the public to…
Mitch McConnell Takes Labor Day Off From Being Dead
WASHINGTON — After working tirelessly around the clock to appear fully deceased…
Georgia Authorities Rule HeeHaw The Donkey Died By Suicide After Shooting Himself Twice In Back Of Head
CEDARTOWN, GEORGIA—Putting to rest weeks of online speculation and public outrage, the…
Child Asks Dad If ‘Mistrial’ Means Mom Is Allowed To Start Killing People Now
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — Following the breaking news of a mistrial in the…
Keir Starmer Wondering If He’s Still Invited To Next Year’s World Leaders’ Coke Party
LONDON, UK — Pacing the living room of his remarkably quiet home,…
Lindsay Clancy Jury Deadlocked After Female Jurors Ask To Consult TikTok First
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — After spending nearly 18 hours reviewing evidence, listening to…
Progressive Judge Explains That Keeping A Dangerous Criminal Off The Streets Only Solves The Problem Of Public Safety
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA — A progressive judge explained Monday that keeping a…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Obama Follows Up First Cryptic Tweet With Another Puzzling One Word Twitter Message: ‘Goat’
WASHINGTON-- Former President Barack Obama followed up his cryptic "Vote." tweet this morning with yet another insanely baffling one-word message that has set social media ablaze with sheepish speculation. "Goat."…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
