Local Canada Goose Disgusted Watching Immigrant Poop On Toronto Beach
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Staring in disgusted silence as an immigrant squatted and defecated directly on Toronto’s Cherry Beach, a disgruntled Canada goose named Gary announced his disgust over the growing issue of public human defecation plaguing Toronto's beaches due to the recent influx of millions of immigrants. The bird, known for his own prolific pooping habits, claims he can no…
Tim Walz Blasts FBI Daycare Raids For Leaving Thousands Of Fake Children Without Care
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — In a fiery and deeply emotional press conference…
Local Canada Goose Disgusted Watching Immigrant Poop On Toronto Beach
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Staring in disgusted silence as an immigrant squatted and…
Dead Voters Beg Congress To Pass SAVE Act So They Can Finally Rest In Peace
U.S. —Citing extreme exhaustion and a desperate desire for eternal slumber, a…
Galactic Inflation Hits Hard As Single Portion Of Blue Milk Now Costs 45 Credits
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — Families across the Outer Rim are waking up…
Gavin Newsom’s Tough Guy Photo Op Undermined By Extremely Gay Power Tool Stance
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Governor Gavin Newsom’s choreographed photo opportunity at a California…
Laid-Off Spirit Airlines Employee Finds Comforting, Familiar Threat Of Physical Violence At New Waffle House Job
ATLANTA, GEORGIA —Following the official permanent grounding of Spirit Airlines last week,…
Tim Walz Blasts FBI Daycare Raids For Leaving Thousands Of Fake Children Without Care
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — In a fiery and deeply emotional press conference…
King Charles Presents Trump With Gift Of Keir Starmer Frozen In Carbonite
WASHINGTON — In a grand gesture aimed at reaffirming the Special Relationship…
Secret Service Replaces Range Targets With Photos Of Fellow Agents After Realizing It’s The Only Thing They Can Consistently Hit
WASHINGTON — Following a series of incidents in which multiple agents shot…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Fox News Changes Name To CNN 2.0 To Better Reflect New Liberal Format
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Former conservative media outlet Fox News is pleased to announce its new corporate and brand name CNN 2.0, saying the new name is more applicable…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
