Illegal Alien Learns Olive Garden Has Stricter ID Requirements Than U.S. Elections
ORLANDO, FLORIDA — Saying the experience had left him deeply confused about American priorities, an illegal alien reportedly discovered recently that obtaining Olive Garden's coveted Never-Ending Pasta Pass requires more identity verification than participating in U.S. elections. Witnesses said the man arrived at the restaurant hoping to purchase one of the restaurant chain's annual Pasta Passes before being politely informed…
UK Police Detain Suspicious Man For Going Entire Week Without Being Stabbed
LONDON, UK — The Metropolitan Police confirmed that officers have arrested a…
Illegal Alien Learns Olive Garden Has Stricter ID Requirements Than U.S. Elections
ORLANDO, FLORIDA — Saying the experience had left him deeply confused about…
Canada Announces $100 Billion Ukraine Aid Package To Combat Canadian Wildfires
OTTAWA, CANADA — With record wildfires continuing to burn across Canada while…
FDA Approves Taco Bell As New Weight-Loss Drug
SILVER SPRING, MARYLAND — In a landmark decision for the American diet…
Gavin Newsom Teaches Mark Carney How To Blame Wildfires On Trump While Cutting Firefighting Budgets
OTTAWA, CANADA — With wildfires once again spreading across Canada and toxic…
UK Police Detain Suspicious Man For Going Entire Week Without Being Stabbed
LONDON, UK — The Metropolitan Police confirmed that officers have arrested a…
EU Solves Objectification Of Female Athletes By Mandating Progressive, Full-Body Burkas
BRUSSELS — Building upon recent European Broadcasting Union guidelines aimed at eliminating…
Mayor Mamdani Condemns Church Arsonists For Not Using Halal Matches
NEW YORK—Responding to yet another church fire this week, Mayor Mamdani held…
Mark Carney Celebrates Grocery Inflation Slowdown After Canadians Can No Longer Afford Groceries
OTTAWA — Touting a massive economic victory for the middle class, Prime…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
U.S. To Send 8 Million More Troops To Iraq To Get Kitty Down From Tree
BAGHDAD, IRAQ-- The United States has agreed to deploy 8 million additional troops to Iraq and send 100 extra battle tanks to get a scared kitten out of a tree…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
