Anakin Skywalker Loses Jedi Master Position To Less Qualified Diversity Hires
CORUSCANT — Anakin Skywalker, widely regarded as one of the most powerful and talented Jedi in the galaxy, was passed over for promotion to Jedi Master this week after the Jedi Council opted to fill its leadership positions with less qualified diversity candidates, sources confirmed Tuesday. Despite demonstrating exceptional combat abilities, an unusually high Midichlorian count, and a proven record…
Liberal Asks Children If They Support Trump Before Giving Them Candy
PORTLAND, OREGON — Local liberal woman Karen Mitchell reportedly spent Halloween evening…
Anakin Skywalker Loses Jedi Master Position To Less Qualified Diversity Hires
CORUSCANT — Anakin Skywalker, widely regarded as one of the most powerful…
CNN Denies Allegations It Has Been Reporting Real News
ATLANTA, GEORGIA – CNN executives and on-air personalities vehemently denied allegations Monday…
Canada Adds Conservatism To List Of Conditions Eligible For MAID
OTTAWA, CANADA — In a landmark update to federal healthcare policy, the…
Liberal Asks Children If They Support Trump Before Giving Them Candy
PORTLAND, OREGON — Local liberal woman Karen Mitchell reportedly spent Halloween evening…
Kamala Harris Sees Four Dan Sullivans On Alaska Ballot
WASHINGTON – Former Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly spotted four separate Dan Sullivans…
Newsom Accuses Trump Of Trying To Steal Elections Democrats Are Trying To Steal
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA – California Governor Gavin Newsom accused President Donald Trump Thursday…
Iran Considers Allowing Women To Smile In Private Provided No Men Can See Them
TEHRAN, IRAN — Iranian authorities announced Thursday that they were considering a…
Local Kids Agree To Skip Trick-Or-Treating At Houses Displaying ‘Free Lindsay’ Signs
DUXBURY, MASSACHUSETTS — Local children agreed this week to skip trick-or-treating at…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Republicans Place Cardboard Cutouts Of Putin Along Southern US Border So Maybe Biden Will Protect It
EL PASO, TEXAS-- Republicans have placed thousands of cardboard cutouts of Russian President Vladimir Putin along the southern US border in an effort to trick Joe Biden into believing it's…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
