Tensions Rise On Ben Shapiro’s Forehead As Right Eyebrow Annexes Left Eyebrow Territory
BOCA RATON, FLORIDA — Insisting that the historic expansion was both necessary for its long-term security and deeply rooted in ancestral biology, conservative commentator Ben Shapiro’s right eyebrow launched a preemptive, highly coordinated offensive Friday, successfully annexing 80 percent of his forehead and forcing his left eyebrow into a densely crowded, blockaded strip above his left temple. International facial observers…
Arsonists Of America Endorse Karen Bass For L.A. Mayor
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Citing her inspiringly hands-off approach to combustion, the…
Tensions Rise On Ben Shapiro’s Forehead As Right Eyebrow Annexes Left Eyebrow Territory
BOCA RATON, FLORIDA — Insisting that the historic expansion was both necessary…
Keir Starmer Warns Nation That People Waving British Flags Are A Critical Threat To British Values
LONDON, UK — Prime Minister Keir Starmer issued an emergency national warning…
Xi Jinping Gives Trump Personal Tour Of Chinese Factory Manufacturing Trump Merchandise
HANGZHOU, CHINA– In a move described as on the nose, President Xi…
King Charles Assures Migrants Digital ID Will Only Be Used Against White British Citizens
LONDON, UK — Seeking to soothe the anxieties of the the millions…
Trump-China Summit Postponed After Xi’s Arm Breaks Following One Handshake
BEIJING, CHINA — The highly anticipated summit between U.S. President Donald Trump…
Dr. Fauci Insists Hantavirus Vaccine Requires Conducting Highly Painful Experiments On Beagles
BETHESDA, MARYLAND — Saying he just couldn't sit on the sidelines while…
Arsonists Of America Endorse Karen Bass For L.A. Mayor
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Citing her inspiringly hands-off approach to combustion, the…
Lockheed Martin Releases Touching Mother’s Day Ad Thanking Moms For ‘Raising Our Future Customer Base’
BETHESDA, MARYLAND — In a bold departure from traditional corporate holiday messaging, global…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Trump Watches ‘Rocky IV’ In Preparation For Upcoming Alaska Meeting With Putin
WASHINGTON-- In preparation for his upcoming high-stakes summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin, President Donald Trump has revealed he has been binge-watching the 1985 classic movie Rocky IV as a way…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
