FBI Scours Police Blotters For Crimes It Can Pretend It Solved
WASHINGTON — In a bold bid to maintain the illusion of relevance, the FBI has reportedly begun scouring local police blotters across the country for crimes it can pretend it solved, as the Bureau looks to bolster its record of successful investigations without having to actually conduct any. According to sources, agents have been instructed to monitor local news reports,…
Newsom Demands Californians Take Accountability For Their Decision To Elect Him
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA – With California residents once again struggling to contain devastating…
FBI Scours Police Blotters For Crimes It Can Pretend It Solved
WASHINGTON — In a bold bid to maintain the illusion of relevance,…
Macron Threatens To Punish Rioters By Making Them Remain In France
PARIS, FRANCE — French President Emmanuel Macron issued a stern warning to…
Pfizer Says Reports Of Side Effects Distract From Vaccine’s Positive Impact On Profits
NEW YORK — Pfizer executives expressed frustration that persistent reports of COVID…
Awkward Moment As Ilhan Omar Starts Flirting With Undercover James O’Keefe Disguised As Her Brother
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Investigative journalist James O'Keefe reportedly found himself in an…
Mark Carney Calls Newsom For Advice On How To Rig Alberta’s Election
OTTAWA, CANADA — With Alberta voters heading to the polls to decide…
Macron Worried Britain Destroying Itself Faster Than France
PARIS, FRANCE — French President Emmanuel Macron reportedly grew concerned Monday that…
Newsom Demands Californians Take Accountability For Their Decision To Elect Him
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA – With California residents once again struggling to contain devastating…
Trump Hires New Attractive Blonde Press Secretary ‘Stephanie Miller’
WASHINGTON — Citing the need to maintain the administration's signature aesthetic following…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
New York Prosecutors Drop All Charges Against Trump After Rob Reiner Promised To Dance Naked If He’s Indicted
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-- In a shocking twist to the already controversial Trump arrest saga, New York prosecutors have just announced that they are dropping all investigations into Donald Trump after…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
