Democrats Insist Graham Platner’s Decision To Step Aside Was Entirely His Own, Just Like Joe Biden’s
AUGUSTA, MAINE — Democratic leaders across the country stressed Friday that Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner's decision to suspend his campaign was made entirely of his own free will following a completely voluntary series of urgent phone calls, emergency meetings, withdrawn endorsements, and increasingly direct suggestions that he should immediately suspend his campaign. In fact, party leaders insisted Platner's exit was…
CDC Declares Chuck Schumer’s Fourth Of July BBQ A Public Health Emergency
ATLANTA, GEORGIA— The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) elevated Senate…
Democrats Insist Graham Platner’s Decision To Step Aside Was Entirely His Own, Just Like Joe Biden’s
AUGUSTA, MAINE — Democratic leaders across the country stressed Friday that Maine Senate…
Google Warns That Without Unqualified Foreign Labor, They Might Have To Hire Americans
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA — Sounding the alarm over the Trump administration’s sweeping…
Doctors Say Mitch McConnell Hasn’t Aged A Day Since Beginning Formaldehyde Treatments
LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY — Amid mounting public pressure and a frantic search for…
Graham Platner Comes Forward To Accuse Graham Platner Of Sexual Assault
ELLSWORTH, MAINE — Calling it the most difficult decision of his life,…
Congress Introduces Bill Allowing Dead Lawmakers To Continue Voting Via Ouija Board
WASHINGTON — In what congressional leaders hailed as a "common-sense modernization of government,"…
Newsom Announces 31% Crime Drop Was Verified By Auditors From ‘Quality Learing Center’
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — In a press conference aimed at silencing right-wing critics,…
British Man Charged With Assault After Bruising Attacker’s Knuckles With His Face
LONDON — In a stunning display of modern, progressive crowd control, the…
CDC Declares Chuck Schumer’s Fourth Of July BBQ A Public Health Emergency
ATLANTA, GEORGIA— The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) elevated Senate…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Justin Trudeau Kneels With Canadian Truckers After They Disguise Themselves As BLM
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has finally met with the truckers for freedom after the Canadian protesters disguised themselves as Black Lives Matter rioters and began holding BLM signs…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
