Arsonists Of America Endorse Karen Bass For L.A. Mayor
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Citing her inspiringly hands-off approach to combustion, the Arsonists of America (AoA) officially announced their endorsement of Karen Bass for re-election as Mayor of Los Angeles, praising her administration’s pro-ignition policies and her decision to be 6,000 miles away during peak burning season. The endorsement comes on the heels of a record-breaking fire season that saw…
Local Canada Goose Disgusted Watching Immigrant Poop On Toronto Beach
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Staring in disgusted silence as an immigrant squatted and…
Arsonists Of America Endorse Karen Bass For L.A. Mayor
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Citing her inspiringly hands-off approach to combustion, the…
Lockheed Martin Releases Touching Mother’s Day Ad Thanking Moms For ‘Raising Our Future Customer Base’
BETHESDA, MARYLAND — In a bold departure from traditional corporate holiday messaging, global…
After Careful Reflection, Keir Starmer Concludes Massive Labour Defeat Caused By Everyone Except Keir Starmer
LONDON, UK — Following a disastrous week of local election results that…
Katie Porter Tries To Woo Suburban Moms By Berating Babies
IRVINE, CALIFORNIA — In a desperate bid to humanize her image ahead…
Balenciaga Introduces First-Ever Designer Adrenochrome IV Bag For The Busy Celeb On The Go
NEW YORK — Stating that the modern celebrity simply doesn't have the…
Local Canada Goose Disgusted Watching Immigrant Poop On Toronto Beach
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Staring in disgusted silence as an immigrant squatted and…
Dead Voters Beg Congress To Pass SAVE Act So They Can Finally Rest In Peace
U.S. —Citing extreme exhaustion and a desperate desire for eternal slumber, a…
Galactic Inflation Hits Hard As Single Portion Of Blue Milk Now Costs 45 Credits
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — Families across the Outer Rim are waking up…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
CIA On Spying Allegations: ‘We Investigated Ourselves And Cleared Ourselves Of Any Wrongdoing’
WASHINGTON-- After damning evidence and undercover video surfaced showing the CIA purposely worked against then President Donald Trump as well as spied on Americans, the federal intelligence service was quick…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
