Unemployed Dan Crenshaw Joins Somali Pirates After Realizing Plunder More Lucrative Than Insider Trading
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA — Following a devastating primary defeat that left him ousted from the U.S. Congress, former Texas Congressman Dan Crenshaw has reportedly found a new, surprisingly lucrative career path by joining a band of Somali pirates, where he says the pay is even more profitable than Congressional insider trading. According to various sources, the ousted RINO Republican was last…
U.S. Unveils Israel Loyalty Punch Card: Buy 10 Congress Members, Get 1 Free Middle East War
WASHINGTON — In an effort to streamline a long-standing bipartisan tradition, the…
Unemployed Dan Crenshaw Joins Somali Pirates After Realizing Plunder More Lucrative Than Insider Trading
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA — Following a devastating primary defeat that left him ousted…
Keir Starmer Torn Between Arresting People For Tweets And Arresting Them Before They Tweet
LONDON, UK — Government sources say Prime Minister Keir Starmer is currently…
Lindsey Graham Wakes Up In Cold Sweat After Horrifying Nightmare Where He Had To Fight In One Of His Own Wars
WASHINGTON — Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) awoke screaming in the early morning…
Japanese Domino’s Delivery Driver Commits Seppuku In Shame After Being One Minute Late With Pizza Order
TOKYO, JAPAN — A delivery driver for Domino's Pizza Japan reportedly committed…
France Surrenders To U.S. Minutes After Trump Tells Iran To ‘Unconditional Surrender’
PARIS, FRANCE — In a move historians are calling one of the…
U.S. Unveils Israel Loyalty Punch Card: Buy 10 Congress Members, Get 1 Free Middle East War
WASHINGTON — In an effort to streamline a long-standing bipartisan tradition, the…
Iran Council Chooses Achmed The Dead Terrorist As New Supreme Leader
TEHRAN, IRAN — Following the sudden death of Iran’s longtime Supreme Leader…
Mark Carney Secures Historic Foreign Investment After Modi Agrees To Send Millions More Indians Into Canada
NEW DELHI, INDIA — During his recent trip to India, Canadian Prime…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Rioters Struggle To Vandalize Already Ruined Los Angeles
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — A coalition of anti-ICE far-leftists and Mexican nationalists descended upon the city of Los Angeles this weekend with the stated goal of burning the city to…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
