Georgia Authorities Rule HeeHaw The Donkey Died By Suicide After Shooting Himself Twice In Back Of Head
CEDARTOWN, GEORGIA—Putting to rest weeks of online speculation and public outrage, the Polk County Medical Examiner announced Friday that HeeHaw, the beloved miniature petting zoo donkey, tragically took his own life by shooting himself twice in the back of the head with a police-issue sidearm. Officials said the conclusion was reached after an exhaustive investigation that found no evidence that…
Progressive Judge Explains That Keeping A Dangerous Criminal Off The Streets Only Solves The Problem Of Public Safety
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA — A progressive judge explained Monday that keeping a…
Georgia Authorities Rule HeeHaw The Donkey Died By Suicide After Shooting Himself Twice In Back Of Head
CEDARTOWN, GEORGIA—Putting to rest weeks of online speculation and public outrage, the…
Child Asks Dad If ‘Mistrial’ Means Mom Is Allowed To Start Killing People Now
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — Following the breaking news of a mistrial in the…
Keir Starmer Wondering If He’s Still Invited To Next Year’s World Leaders’ Coke Party
LONDON, UK — Pacing the living room of his remarkably quiet home,…
Lindsay Clancy Jury Deadlocked After Female Jurors Ask To Consult TikTok First
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — After spending nearly 18 hours reviewing evidence, listening to…
Progressive Judge Explains That Keeping A Dangerous Criminal Off The Streets Only Solves The Problem Of Public Safety
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA — A progressive judge explained Monday that keeping a…
UK Police Assure Residents They Have Knife Crime Under Control As Long As They Avoid All Dangerous Areas, People, Activities, And Leaving The House
LONDON, UK — In a highly anticipated press conference inside Scotland Yard,…
Trump Escalates Trade War By Shrinking Canada By 50% On All U.S. Maps
WASHINGTON — In a dramatic escalation in the growing trade war with Canada,…
Canada Retaliates Against America By Instructing Border Guards To Aggressively Roll Their Eyes At U.S. Passports
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Following the sudden collapse of trade negotiations and the…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Jared Leto Becomes First Person In History To Ride Outside Of Elon Musk’s SpaceX Rocket Into Space
BOCA CHICA BEACH, TEXAS-- Musician and Hollywood actor Jared Leto has made history once again after strapping himself to the outside of Elon Musk's SpaceX rocket as it blasted off…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
