Democrats Assure Voters James Talarico Is Perfectly Normal By Democratic Party Standards
AUSTIN, TEXAS — Democratic Party officials moved to reassure concerned voters that Texas Senate candidate James Talarico was perfectly normal by Democratic Party standards, insisting that his unusual public statements, unconventional political views, and increasingly difficult-to-explain behavior were all consistent with the party's current definition of a qualified candidate. Democrat officials held a major press conference Monday morning to deliver…
Iran Applies For Permit To Nuke Los Angeles
TEHRAN, IRAN — Following President Donald Trump’s controversial suggestion that Iran could…
Democrats Assure Voters James Talarico Is Perfectly Normal By Democratic Party Standards
AUSTIN, TEXAS — Democratic Party officials moved to reassure concerned voters that…
Zelensky’s Wife Walks In On Him Playing Piano Again
KYIV, UKRAINE — Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky was reportedly caught in another…
Britain Offers Nidal Hasan Free Housing, Cash, And Healthcare Instead Of Firing Squad
LONDON, UK — Expressing deep moral horror at the U.S. military’s decision…
Microsoft Boasts ‘Most Inclusive Workplace’ After Replacing Americans With Indians From Two Entirely Different Upper Castes
REDMOND, WASHINGTON — Following the quiet termination of its last remaining American-born…
Minnesota Democrats Warn Stopping ISIS Terror Plots Could Threaten Thriving Somali Fraud Economy
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — In the wake of an FBI operation that…
Tim Walz Announces New Equity Initiative To Bring Greater Racial Diversity To Somali Gun Violence
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — Following a series of increasingly violent Somali gang…
Iran Applies For Permit To Nuke Los Angeles
TEHRAN, IRAN — Following President Donald Trump’s controversial suggestion that Iran could…
Montana Governor Celebrates Historic India Partnership By Agreeing To Flood State With Indian Immigrants
HELENA, MONTANA — In what his office is hailing as an unprecedented…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Numerous New Democrats Suddenly Running For Congress After Local Mental Institution Closes
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- A slew of up and coming Democrat politicians have announced their candidacy for United States Congress after their psychiatric hospital closed its doors permanently, promising to bring…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
