John Thune Awards Himself Congressional Medal For Two Years Of Distinguished Inaction
WASHINGTON — Senate Majority Leader John Thune awarded himself the prestigious Congressional Medal of Distinguished Inaction Friday, honoring his own two-year record of accomplishing virtually nothing while somehow managing to remain gainfully employed. The ceremony, held outside Thune's office and attended by several Republican colleagues who were reportedly instructed to applaud at regular intervals, celebrated what the South Dakota senator…
Elmo Insists New Chinese Muppet Was Just A Friend Who Wanted To Learn About US Military Bases
SESAME STREET — Elmo defended his friendship with a newly arrived Chinese…
John Thune Awards Himself Congressional Medal For Two Years Of Distinguished Inaction
WASHINGTON — Senate Majority Leader John Thune awarded himself the prestigious Congressional…
Microsoft Blames Global Outage On Unreasonable Expectancy That Software Should Work
REDMOND, WASHINGTON — Microsoft officials blamed customers' unreasonable expectations that the company's…
London Declared Safest City In Europe For People Who Don’t Visit London
LONDON, UK — London has officially been declared the safest city in…
Elmo Insists New Chinese Muppet Was Just A Friend Who Wanted To Learn About US Military Bases
SESAME STREET — Elmo defended his friendship with a newly arrived Chinese…
Congress Introduces Historic Bill To Give Every Homeless Veteran A Cardboard Box
WASHINGTON — In what congressional leaders are describing as a historic breakthrough…
AOC Accuses Americans Of Islamophobia For Not Celebrating Hindu Manure Festival
WASHINGTON – Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, AOC, accused Americans of rampant Islamophobia Tuesday…
Trump Retaliates For China’s Spying By Sending Marco Rubio To Charm Xi Jinping
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that the United States was launching…
UK Police Arrest Sexual Predator After Establishing The Suspect Is Not Muslim
LONDON, UK — British police announced Monday that they had successfully arrested…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Supreme Court Rules U.S. Men’s Hockey Team Banned From Scoring Against Canada
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 6 to 3 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Olympic men’s hockey team is constitutionally prohibited from scoring any goals in its…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
