Doctors Say Mitch McConnell Making Steady Recovery From Being Dead
WASHINGTON — In an effort to dispel mounting conspiracy theories regarding the Senator's seven-week disappearance from the public eye, the office of Mitch McConnell released a highly encouraging health update, announcing the 84-year-old lawmaker is undergoing rigorous physical therapy and making a spectacular, steady recovery from being completely dead. Physicians described the senator's condition as extremely encouraging, noting there have…
Larry The Cat Caught Carrying Giant Rat Out Of Downing Street By The Scruff Of Its Neck
LONDON, UK — Onlookers gathered outside 10 Downing Street erupted into applause…
Doctors Say Mitch McConnell Making Steady Recovery From Being Dead
WASHINGTON — In an effort to dispel mounting conspiracy theories regarding the…
Nervous Fauci Calms Himself By Imagining Rand Paul As A Beagle Getting Bitten By Sandflies
WASHINGTON — Facing another brutal, three-hour interrogation from the House Oversight Committee,…
CNN Warns Mass Haitian Deportations Will Cause Humanitarian Crisis Due To Shortage Of Cats To Eat
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — Following the Supreme Court's recent decision allowing the Trump…
Awkward Moment As Zelensky And Netanyahu Simultaneously Reach For Trump’s Wallet
WASHINGTON — What began as a routine diplomatic greeting at the White House…
Bombshell Fauci Diary Reveals The Hardest Part Of Fighting COVID Was Fending Off Biden In The Shower
WASHINGTON — After years of stonewalling, the House Oversight Committee finally released…
James Talarico Tries To Win The Black Vote By Looting Local Shoe Store
HOUSTON, TEXAS — In a desperate bid to salvage his collapsing poll…
German Leaders Praise Terrorist Suspect For Ramming Pride Attendees Rather Than Throwing Them Off Rooftops
BERLIN, GERMANY — In a stunning display of progressive optimism following Saturday’s…
Larry The Cat Caught Carrying Giant Rat Out Of Downing Street By The Scruff Of Its Neck
LONDON, UK — Onlookers gathered outside 10 Downing Street erupted into applause…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Democrats Promise Not To Shave Their Beards Until Trump Is Impeached
WASHINGTON-- Determined to serve justice to the American people in regards to the Ukraine controversy, bearded House Democrats have buckled down on their fight to take down Donald Trump and…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
