Gavin Newsom Welcomes Federal Election Probe Moments After Warehouse Full Of Counted Ballots Spontaneously Combusts
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Following widespread public outcry over a multi-week-long ballot-counting process, California Governor Gavin Newsom announced his administration’s full, enthusiastic cooperation with a newly launched DOJ and FBI audit into the state’s highly suspicious election results, making the pledge exactly three minutes after a Los Angeles County warehouse containing all 4.5 million fully counted, legally certified paper ballots inexplicably…
Greg Abbott Proudly Announces He Has Finally Secured Enough H-1B Visas To Replace Every Last Worker In Texas
AUSTIN, TEXAS—Standing in front of a massive "Texas First" banner and surrounded…
Gavin Newsom Welcomes Federal Election Probe Moments After Warehouse Full Of Counted Ballots Spontaneously Combusts
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Following widespread public outcry over a multi-week-long ballot-counting process,…
US Troops Deployed To UK To Protect Citizens From Their Own Police Force
SOUTHAMPTON, UK — Citing a rapidly escalating humanitarian crisis, President Donald Trump…
Democrats Halt Midterm Campaign Spending After Realizing RINOs Doing The Work For Them
WASHINGTON — In a stunning cost-saving measure, the Democratic National Committee has announced…
Karen Bass Secures Runoff Spot After Late-Night Delivery Of 80,000 Registered Labradoodle Ballots
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass officially secured a…
Sesame Street Defends Pride Month Episode Where New Trans Muppet Opens Fire On Heteronormative Co-Stars
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Following a wave of intense parent pushback…
California Warns It Will Take Weeks To Find Enough Ballots For Democrats To Win
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Following the closure of polling places for the state’s…
Fox News Calls Los Angeles Mayor Race For Karen Bass After One Vote Counted
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Stating that the mathematical modeling was simply…
White British Man Arrested Posthumously For Insensitivity Toward Immigrant Assailant
LONDON, UK — Praising the swift and decisive action of their officers,…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Lizard Person Liz Cheney Removes Human Skin To Appeal To Reptile Demographic
WASHINGTON-- In a last ditch effort to help her struggling campaign to get reelected, Liz Cheney has removed the human skin that was hiding her lizard face and has been…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
