Japanese Government Assures Public It Has Learned Nothing From Europe
TOKYO, JAPAN — The Japanese government assured concerned citizens Wednesday that it had learned absolutely nothing from Europe’s immigration experience, insisting that the country’s new worker mobility agreement with Bangladesh would proceed exactly as planned despite widespread public opposition and mounting evidence that importing large numbers of foreign workers might have consequences beyond filling vacancies. Addressing a nation that currently…
Lab Mice Replaced After Imported Foreign Mice Work For Less Cheese
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS — A team of biomedical researchers announced Thursday that it…
Japanese Government Assures Public It Has Learned Nothing From Europe
TOKYO, JAPAN — The Japanese government assured concerned citizens Wednesday that it…
God Asks James Talarico To Stop Speaking On His Behalf
HEAVEN — Putting out an emergency celestial statement to clear up what…
Biden Stumps For Talarico In Bid To Turn Out The Deceased Vote
AUSTIN, TEXAS — Former President Joe Biden traveled to Texas Monday to help…
UK Company Develops New Rape-Proof Underwear For Women Who Still Leave The House
LONDON, UK — A British company announced Monday that it had developed…
Abdul El-Sayed Fires Up Progressive Crowd By Executing Republican During Rally
DETROIT, MICHIGAN — Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed fired up a crowd of…
Tim Walz Kisses His Brother To Prove There’s Nothing Weird About Ilhan Omar’s Brother Marriage
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA – Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz reportedly kissed his own brother…
Mark Carney Taps Newly Arrived Immigrant To Oversee Preservation Of Canadian Identity
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney announced Tuesday that newly arrived…
Lab Mice Replaced After Imported Foreign Mice Work For Less Cheese
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS — A team of biomedical researchers announced Thursday that it…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
New Sex Cream Helps Chimps Last Longer In Bed
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND-- Scientists from Baltimore Animal College confirmed Tuesday that they've invented a sex cream called Potent Primate made specifically for chimpanzees, saying that most chimps are embarrassed by their…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
