Abdul El-Sayed Spotted Casually Trying On Several Tactical Vests

DEARBORN, MICHIGAN — Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed was spotted at a popular tactical supply store yesterday, spending over an hour trying on various weighted vests, load-bearing harnesses, and heavy-duty chest rigs. Witnesses say Abdul El-Sayed appeared unusually focused on the interior padding and wire-routing capabilities of the tactical gear, pulling on several vests that featured prominent, bulky front compartments.…

Daily Soak Staff
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Abdul El-Sayed Spotted Casually Trying On Several Tactical Vests

DEARBORN, MICHIGAN — Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed was spotted at a…

Daily Soak Staff

AOC Livestreams Herself Beginning Egg-Freezing Process By Swallowing Three Bags Of Ice Cubes

WASHINGTON — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) took to Instagram Live this weekend…

Daily Soak Staff

Congress Finally Reaches Bipartisan Agreement To Ignore Voters

WASHINGTON — In a rare display of bipartisan cooperation, congressional Republicans and…

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Martians Starting To Feel Like Aliens On Their Own Planet After Influx Of 10 Million Earthling Settlers

JEZERO CRATER, MARS — Gazing out over a red, dust-swept valley now…

Daily Soak Staff

Minnesota Weather Service Forecasts 90% Chance Of Mugging

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — The Minnesota Weather Service issued a statewide Mugging Advisory on…

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Tragic: King Charles Forced To Squeeze His Own Toothpaste After Royal Valet Called Out Sick

LONDON, UK — The Union Jack is flying at half-mast above Buckingham…

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Moderna Offers Free Tombstone To Anyone Getting New mRNA Flu Vaccine

CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS — Pharmaceutical giant Moderna announced Thursday that it is offering…

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Scientists Rediscover Rare White Canadian Species Thought To Be Extinct

BRAMPTON, ONTARIO — In a stunning breakthrough that has captivated the global scientific…

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Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck

(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…

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