Man Tries To Impress Date By Filling SUV With Premium Gas

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA — A local man reportedly attempted to impress his date Friday night by filling his SUV with premium gasoline, a lavish gesture he described as the kind of thing you do when you really want a woman to know you’re doing well. “I thought about taking her to a nice restaurant, but then I looked at gas prices,” said…

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Man Tries To Impress Date By Filling SUV With Premium Gas

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA — A local man reportedly attempted to impress his date Friday…

Daily Soak Staff

AOC Weeps Outside Empty Minnesota Daycare Over Thousands Of Imaginary Somali Children Being Deported

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — During an emotional press conference Friday outside an empty…

Daily Soak Staff

AOC Breaks Up With Fiancé, Gently Suggests They Should ‘Both See Other Men’

WASHINGTON — In a bittersweet end to a long-term political romance, Rep.…

Daily Soak Staff

Newsom Spotted Committing Crimes In Florida To Sabotage DeSantis’ Record-Low Crime Rate

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA — Florida authorities were reportedly baffled Wednesday after Governor Gavin…

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Congress Condemns Reduced Vaccine Schedule For Threatening Health Of Their Stock Portfolios

WASHINGTON — Members of Congress expressed grave concern Monday over the Trump administration’s…

Daily Soak Staff

Abdul El-Sayed Spotted Casually Trying On Several Tactical Vests

DEARBORN, MICHIGAN — Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed was spotted at a…

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AOC Livestreams Herself Beginning Egg-Freezing Process By Swallowing Three Bags Of Ice Cubes

WASHINGTON — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) took to Instagram Live this weekend…

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Congress Finally Reaches Bipartisan Agreement To Ignore Voters

WASHINGTON — In a rare display of bipartisan cooperation, congressional Republicans and…

Daily Soak Staff

Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck

(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…

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