Trump Mercifully Nukes Texas To Spare Remaining Conservatives From Living Under Democrat Rule
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Friday that he had reluctantly authorized a nuclear strike on Texas in what he described as a compassionate effort to spare the state's remaining conservative residents from the suffering of living under an increasingly radical Democrat government. Calling it one of the most difficult decisions of his presidency, Trump said he had exhausted every…
Kamala Harris Sees Four Dan Sullivans On Alaska Ballot
WASHINGTON – Former Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly spotted four separate Dan Sullivans…
Trump Mercifully Nukes Texas To Spare Remaining Conservatives From Living Under Democrat Rule
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Friday that he had reluctantly authorized…
Embarrassing: Democrat Operative Drops Off Fake Ballots After Election Already Called
RIVERSIDE, CALIFORNIA — In an embarrassing mix-up that election officials are calling…
Republicans Celebrate Losing Power After Exhausting Two Years Of Not Using It
WASHINGTON — Gathering for a joyful post-election celebration on Capitol Hill, Republican lawmakers…
Abdul El-Sayed Assures LGBTQ Voters Muslims Throwing Gays Off Roofs Is Just A Cultural Difference
DETROIT, MICHIGAN — Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed moved Wednesday to reassure…
Anakin Skywalker Loses Jedi Master Position To Less Qualified Diversity Hires
CORUSCANT — Anakin Skywalker, widely regarded as one of the most powerful…
CNN Denies Allegations It Has Been Reporting Real News
ATLANTA, GEORGIA – CNN executives and on-air personalities vehemently denied allegations Monday…
Canada Adds Conservatism To List Of Conditions Eligible For MAID
OTTAWA, CANADA — In a landmark update to federal healthcare policy, the…
Liberal Asks Children If They Support Trump Before Giving Them Candy
PORTLAND, OREGON — Local liberal woman Karen Mitchell reportedly spent Halloween evening…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
By 2035 The United States Will Migrate Back To England, Promises Scientist
LONDON, ENGLAND-- A top British scientist has confirmed through vigorous studies that by the year 2035 the United States of America will migrate back to jolly ole England, uniting the…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
