Raytheon, Lockheed Martin Lower Flags To Half-Mast For Top Salesman Lindsey Graham
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA — Defense contractors across the country entered an official period of mourning after the passing of longtime Senator Lindsey Graham, whom executives affectionately remembered as the greatest salesman the military-industrial complex ever had. Board members and weapons manufacturers reportedly held a somber moment of silence on the trading floor as stock prices for major defense contractors experienced a…
Congress Introduces Bill Allowing Dead Lawmakers To Continue Voting Via Ouija Board
WASHINGTON — In what congressional leaders hailed as a "common-sense modernization of government,"…
Raytheon, Lockheed Martin Lower Flags To Half-Mast For Top Salesman Lindsey Graham
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA — Defense contractors across the country entered an official period…
Bigfoot Researchers Believe They Have Captured Rare Footage Of Wild Mitch McConnell
KENTUCKY — A team of veteran Bigfoot researchers announced this week they…
Democrats Insist Graham Platner’s Decision To Step Aside Was Entirely His Own, Just Like Joe Biden’s
AUGUSTA, MAINE — Democratic leaders across the country stressed Friday that Maine Senate…
Google Warns That Without Unqualified Foreign Labor, They Might Have To Hire Americans
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA — Sounding the alarm over the Trump administration’s sweeping…
Doctors Say Mitch McConnell Hasn’t Aged A Day Since Beginning Formaldehyde Treatments
LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY — Amid mounting public pressure and a frantic search for…
Graham Platner Comes Forward To Accuse Graham Platner Of Sexual Assault
ELLSWORTH, MAINE — Calling it the most difficult decision of his life,…
Congress Introduces Bill Allowing Dead Lawmakers To Continue Voting Via Ouija Board
WASHINGTON — In what congressional leaders hailed as a "common-sense modernization of government,"…
Newsom Announces 31% Crime Drop Was Verified By Auditors From ‘Quality Learing Center’
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — In a press conference aimed at silencing right-wing critics,…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
DOJ Releases Damning Evidence Of Trump Callously Telling Blind Man ‘I’ll See You Later’
WASHINGTON-- The walls are closing in on Donald Trump after the Department of Justice recently released a highly incriminating tape which allegedly has the insensitive former president telling a blind…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
