Texas Longhorns Unveil New Logo To Better Reflect University’s Changing Demographics
AUSTIN, TEXAS — The University of Texas at Austin announced Monday that the Texas Longhorns will be unveiling a new team logo featuring a cow wearing a traditional Indian turban and bindi, saying the updated design will better reflect the university's changing demographics and the increasingly international character of the state. University officials said the redesigned mascot was created after…
Satan Threatens To Send Unruly Sinners Back To Canada To Wait For Medical Treatment
HELL — Satan announced recently that he has instituted a new disciplinary…
Texas Longhorns Unveil New Logo To Better Reflect University’s Changing Demographics
AUSTIN, TEXAS — The University of Texas at Austin announced Monday that…
Satan Threatens To Send Unruly Sinners Back To Canada To Wait For Medical Treatment
HELL — Satan announced recently that he has instituted a new disciplinary…
Republicans Promise To Protect American Workers By Replacing Them Legally
WASHINGTON — Republicans across the country unveiled a bold new plan Monday…
UK Prime Minister Andy Burnham Drops ‘Ham’ From Name To Avoid Offending Muslim Voters
LONDON — Newly installed UK Prime Minister Andy Burnham announced Sunday that…
Trump Adds Another Sticky Note To Refrigerator Reminding Him To Send Out Promised Checks
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump reportedly added another sticky note to the…
Biden Tells Black Juror He ‘Ain’t Black’ If He Votes To Convict Lindsay Clancy
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — Former President Joe Biden reportedly reached out to the…
Ilhan Omar Proposes Renaming 9/11 ‘National Day Of Unspecified Things Happening To Buildings’
WASHINGTON — Rep. Ilhan Omar introduced a resolution Friday proposing that September…
Indian Man Arrested For Vandalizing Neighborhood By Cleaning It Up
NEW DELHI, INDIA—Local authorities have arrested an Indian man who allegedly vandalized…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
World’s First Tri-Sexual Being Heralded As Hero
SENECA, NEW YORK-- The world's first living tri-sexual was created this week at the Southpaw Center for Ambulatory Surgery, thus surpassing transgender people in advancement and popularity. The world's first…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
