Mayor Mamdani Condemns Church Arsonists For Not Using Halal Matches
NEW YORK—Responding to yet another church fire this week, Mayor Mamdani held a solemn press conference Tuesday to condemn what he described as the deeply irresponsible decision by the alleged arsonists to ignite the blaze using what officials believe were non-halal certified matches. The mayor said that investigators were still gathering information regarding the church itself, but went on to…
Google Warns That Without Unqualified Foreign Labor, They Might Have To Hire Americans
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA — Sounding the alarm over the Trump administration’s sweeping…
Mayor Mamdani Condemns Church Arsonists For Not Using Halal Matches
NEW YORK—Responding to yet another church fire this week, Mayor Mamdani held…
Mark Carney Celebrates Grocery Inflation Slowdown After Canadians Can No Longer Afford Groceries
OTTAWA — Touting a massive economic victory for the middle class, Prime…
Raytheon, Lockheed Martin Lower Flags To Half-Mast For Top Salesman Lindsey Graham
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA — Defense contractors across the country entered an official period…
Bigfoot Researchers Believe They Have Captured Rare Footage Of Wild Mitch McConnell
KENTUCKY — A team of veteran Bigfoot researchers announced this week they…
Democrats Insist Graham Platner’s Decision To Step Aside Was Entirely His Own, Just Like Joe Biden’s
AUGUSTA, MAINE — Democratic leaders across the country stressed Friday that Maine Senate…
Google Warns That Without Unqualified Foreign Labor, They Might Have To Hire Americans
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA — Sounding the alarm over the Trump administration’s sweeping…
Doctors Say Mitch McConnell Hasn’t Aged A Day Since Beginning Formaldehyde Treatments
LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY — Amid mounting public pressure and a frantic search for…
Graham Platner Comes Forward To Accuse Graham Platner Of Sexual Assault
ELLSWORTH, MAINE — Calling it the most difficult decision of his life,…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
To Boost Struggling Economy, California Declares Homeless Tent Encampments As Official Tourist Attractions
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- In a move hailed by his office as both innovative and a game-changer in purpose-driven profit, California Governor Gavin Newsom unveiled a groundbreaking plan to revitalize the…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
