Graham Platner Comes Forward To Accuse Graham Platner Of Sexual Assault
ELLSWORTH, MAINE — Calling it the most difficult decision of his life, embattled Democratic Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner held an emergency press conference Wednesday morning to publicly accuse Graham Platner of sexual assault, becoming the latest in a growing list of people to level serious allegations against Graham Platner. Platner told reporters he had firsthand knowledge of the accused's…
Newsom Announces 31% Crime Drop Was Verified By Auditors From ‘Quality Learing Center’
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — In a press conference aimed at silencing right-wing critics,…
Graham Platner Comes Forward To Accuse Graham Platner Of Sexual Assault
ELLSWORTH, MAINE — Calling it the most difficult decision of his life,…
Congress Introduces Bill Allowing Dead Lawmakers To Continue Voting Via Ouija Board
WASHINGTON — In what congressional leaders hailed as a "common-sense modernization of government,"…
Newsom Announces 31% Crime Drop Was Verified By Auditors From ‘Quality Learing Center’
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — In a press conference aimed at silencing right-wing critics,…
British Man Charged With Assault After Bruising Attacker’s Knuckles With His Face
LONDON — In a stunning display of modern, progressive crowd control, the…
CDC Declares Chuck Schumer’s Fourth Of July BBQ A Public Health Emergency
ATLANTA, GEORGIA— The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) elevated Senate…
Mayor Mamdani Executes Defiant Air Conditioner To Enforce Heatwave Edict
NEW YORK — Standing before a high-definition camera in front of City…
Tearful Mark Carney Uses Canada Day Address To Thank Millions Of Indian Immigrants For Replacing Nation’s White People
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Wiping away tears during a deeply emotional, nationally televised…
Mitch McConnell’s Office Insists Proof Of Life Photo Is Authentic
WASHINGTON — Hoping to put weeks of speculation about the senator's whereabouts…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Wax Figure Of French President Emmanuel Macron Surrenders Immediately To Activists
PARIS, FRANCE-- Without putting up any resistance whatsoever, a waxwork figure of French President Emmanuel Macron surrendered to Greenpeace activists only minutes after the environmentalists entered into the Paris museum…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
