AOC Breaks Up With Fiancé, Gently Suggests They Should ‘Both See Other Men’
WASHINGTON — In a bittersweet end to a long-term political romance, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has broken up with her fiancé Riley Roberts, telling her college sweetheart that it was finally time they both started seeing other men. “Riley, I love you, but I think we’ve grown in different directions,” Ocasio-Cortez began, according to a friend who spoke with the…
Minnesota Weather Service Forecasts 90% Chance Of Mugging
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — The Minnesota Weather Service issued a statewide Mugging Advisory on…
AOC Breaks Up With Fiancé, Gently Suggests They Should ‘Both See Other Men’
WASHINGTON — In a bittersweet end to a long-term political romance, Rep.…
Newsom Spotted Committing Crimes In Florida To Sabotage DeSantis’ Record-Low Crime Rate
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA — Florida authorities were reportedly baffled Wednesday after Governor Gavin…
Congress Condemns Reduced Vaccine Schedule For Threatening Health Of Their Stock Portfolios
WASHINGTON — Members of Congress expressed grave concern Monday over the Trump administration’s…
Abdul El-Sayed Spotted Casually Trying On Several Tactical Vests
DEARBORN, MICHIGAN — Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed was spotted at a…
AOC Livestreams Herself Beginning Egg-Freezing Process By Swallowing Three Bags Of Ice Cubes
WASHINGTON — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) took to Instagram Live this weekend…
Congress Finally Reaches Bipartisan Agreement To Ignore Voters
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of bipartisan cooperation, congressional Republicans and…
Martians Starting To Feel Like Aliens On Their Own Planet After Influx Of 10 Million Earthling Settlers
JEZERO CRATER, MARS — Gazing out over a red, dust-swept valley now…
Minnesota Weather Service Forecasts 90% Chance Of Mugging
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — The Minnesota Weather Service issued a statewide Mugging Advisory on…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Two Dictators Mourn Freedoms Gained After World Wars
PARIS, FRANCE-- Two world dictators held a vigil in France on Armistice Day to mourn all the freedoms gained by the Allies in World War I and II, saying it's…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
