MLB Suspends God For Three Games Following Unauthorized Rainbow Usage
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA — In a landmark disciplinary action, Major League Baseball (MLB) announced it has suspended God for three games without pay after determining He displayed an unauthorized rainbow over a baseball stadium during Pride Month without proper league authorization. The suspension comes after several San Francisco Giants pitchers cited Genesis in reference to the rainbow while wearing Pride…
Historic Iran Peace Deal Postponed After White House Discovers Tomorrow Already Reserved For Different Historic Iran Peace Deal
WASHINGTON — The White House announced Saturday that a long-awaited historic peace…
MLB Suspends God For Three Games Following Unauthorized Rainbow Usage
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA — In a landmark disciplinary action, Major League Baseball…
Netanyahu Demands Emergency Summit To Address Growing Threat Of De-Escalation
JERUSALEM, ISRAEL — Alarmed by the sudden and terrifying outbreak of diplomatic…
Mark Carney Secures Historic Foreign Investment After Modi Agrees To Supply 500,000 Future Tim Hortons Workers
ÉVIAN-LES-BAINS, FRANCE — Heralding it as a transformative victory for the domestic…
UK Police Storm Hospital After Ultrasound Spots Fetus Forming A ‘Hate Symbol’ With Its Hand
LONDON, UK — In a swift and decisive victory for digital safety,…
Trump Unveils Pride Month Concession By Appointing Lindsey Graham As Lead Octagon Girl For UFC Freedom Event
WASHINGTON — In a historic bipartisan compromise to appease angry Democrats and fulfill…
Bernie Sanders Buys Fourth Home To Store All His New ‘Tax The Trillionaires’ Signs
BURLINGTON, VERMONT — Following reports that Elon Musk had officially become the…
Historic Iran Peace Deal Postponed After White House Discovers Tomorrow Already Reserved For Different Historic Iran Peace Deal
WASHINGTON — The White House announced Saturday that a long-awaited historic peace…
UK Government Cracks Down On Knife Crime By Limiting Migrants To Three Stabbings Per Week
LONDON, UK — Facing mounting pressure from citizens over a relentless wave…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Biden Promises To Give Every American $1 Million On February 31, 2023
WASHINGTON-- It appears as though every American citizen will be getting a little richer this year after President Joe Biden made a solemn promise to give every person $1 million…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
