Galactic Inflation Hits Hard As Single Portion Of Blue Milk Now Costs 45 Credits
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — Families across the Outer Rim are waking up to a harsh economic reality this week as the price of everyday groceries reaches astronomical new heights as a standard, 16-ounce glass of Blue Milk will now set consumers back a staggering 45 Imperial Credits. Just two standard years ago, a gallon of the iconic bantha-derived beverage cost…
Gavin Newsom’s Tough Guy Photo Op Undermined By Extremely Gay Power Tool Stance
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Governor Gavin Newsom’s choreographed photo opportunity at a California…
Galactic Inflation Hits Hard As Single Portion Of Blue Milk Now Costs 45 Credits
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — Families across the Outer Rim are waking up…
Gavin Newsom’s Tough Guy Photo Op Undermined By Extremely Gay Power Tool Stance
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Governor Gavin Newsom’s choreographed photo opportunity at a California…
Laid-Off Spirit Airlines Employee Finds Comforting, Familiar Threat Of Physical Violence At New Waffle House Job
ATLANTA, GEORGIA —Following the official permanent grounding of Spirit Airlines last week,…
Tim Walz Blasts FBI Daycare Raids For Leaving Thousands Of Fake Children Without Care
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA — In a fiery and deeply emotional press conference…
King Charles Presents Trump With Gift Of Keir Starmer Frozen In Carbonite
WASHINGTON — In a grand gesture aimed at reaffirming the Special Relationship…
Secret Service Replaces Range Targets With Photos Of Fellow Agents After Realizing It’s The Only Thing They Can Consistently Hit
WASHINGTON — Following a series of incidents in which multiple agents shot…
Biden Defends Ilhan Omar By Recounting His Own Harrowing Service In The Trenches Of World War 9
REHOBOTH BEACH, DELAWARE— Coming to the defense of Congresswoman Ilhan Omar following…
‘No Kings’ Protesters Clarify They Don’t Oppose Actual King Currently Visiting White House
WASHINGTON — Chaos erupted outside the White House gates as thousands of…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
AOC Accuses Florida Waiter Of Falling In Love With Her After Taking Her Order
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- While on a top secret undercover mission in South Florida pretending like she was enjoying freedom, the irresistible AOC made yet another person fall in love…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
