Lindsay Clancy Jury Deadlocked After Female Jurors Ask To Consult TikTok First
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — After spending nearly 18 hours reviewing evidence, listening to more than 80 witnesses and examining more than 300 exhibits, deliberations in the high-profile Lindsay Clancy murder trial have reportedly ground to a halt after several female jurors informed the judge they cannot possibly reach a verdict until they are allowed to consult TikTok to "see what the…
India Retaliates Against Visa Pause By Tripling IRS Arrest Warrants And Extended Car Warranty Scam Calls
NEW DELHI, INDIA — India announced Wednesday that it would retaliate against…
Lindsay Clancy Jury Deadlocked After Female Jurors Ask To Consult TikTok First
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — After spending nearly 18 hours reviewing evidence, listening to…
Progressive Judge Explains That Keeping A Dangerous Criminal Off The Streets Only Solves The Problem Of Public Safety
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA — A progressive judge explained Monday that keeping a…
UK Police Assure Residents They Have Knife Crime Under Control As Long As They Avoid All Dangerous Areas, People, Activities, And Leaving The House
LONDON, UK — In a highly anticipated press conference inside Scotland Yard,…
Trump Escalates Trade War By Shrinking Canada By 50% On All U.S. Maps
WASHINGTON — In a dramatic escalation in the growing trade war with Canada,…
Canada Retaliates Against America By Instructing Border Guards To Aggressively Roll Their Eyes At U.S. Passports
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Following the sudden collapse of trade negotiations and the…
India Retaliates Against Visa Pause By Tripling IRS Arrest Warrants And Extended Car Warranty Scam Calls
NEW DELHI, INDIA — India announced Wednesday that it would retaliate against…
Man Arrives In Hell To Discover Eternal Torment Is Just Being Followed By Flock Cameras
HELL — A newly damned man arrived in Hell this week expecting…
Target Apologizes To Black Community For Racist Clown Costume By Offering 10% Off Next Purchase Of Fried Chicken
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Following a nationwide PR disaster, Target executives issued a sweeping…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Disappointed Indian Parents Devastated To Learn Son Hasn’t Scammed A Single Elderly Woman’s Savings
MUMBAI, INDIA — Saying they had sacrificed everything to give him a head start in a highly competitive industry, local parents Rajeev and Sunita Sharma announced that they were officially…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
