Democrats Condemn Shooter’s White Half For Trying To Assassinate Trump
WASHINGTON — Following the chaotic arrest of shooter Cole Allen, prominent Democratic leaders held a press conference Monday to officially condemn the white half of the would-be assassin, the 31-year-old mixed-race man accused of attempting to assassinate President Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Democrats went on to praise the black half of Cole Allen as a brave…
FBI Frustrated As Trail Of Missing Scientists Keeps Leading Back To FBI
WASHINGTON — Expressing mounting exasperation over a seemingly unsolvable nationwide mystery, the…
Democrats Condemn Shooter’s White Half For Trying To Assassinate Trump
WASHINGTON — Following the chaotic arrest of shooter Cole Allen, prominent Democratic…
CNN Accuses Trump Of Being ‘Aggressively Uncooperative’ For Refusing To Be Assassinated
WASHINGTON — In a blistering prime-time segment following Saturday night’s chaos at…
NAACP Concerned SPLC Fraud Case Could Lead To Catastrophic Shortage Of Profitable White Racism
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND — Holding an emergency press conference on Saturday, top NAACP…
FBI Frustrated As Trail Of Missing Scientists Keeps Leading Back To FBI
WASHINGTON — Expressing mounting exasperation over a seemingly unsolvable nationwide mystery, the…
Senate Leader John Thune Refuses To Bring SAVE Act To Floor, Citing Grave Danger Of Accidentally Winning Midterms
WASHINGTON—After returning from another three week vacation, Senate Majority Leader John Thune…
Dogs And Cats Across Country Terrified After Congress Votes To Keep Haitian Immigrants On TPS
U.S. — A wave of unprecedented anxiety is sweeping through the nation…
Supreme Court Leak Investigation Stalls After Ketanji Brown Jackson Admits ‘I’m Not A Plumber’
WASHINGTON — Following yet another unprecedented, behind-the-scenes disclosure of the Supreme Court’s…
In New Book, Franklin The Turtle Doesn’t Recognize Canada Anymore
TORONTO, CANADA — In a startling shift from the gentle woodland life…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U 150, a Trump-inspired model reportedly conceived within minutes of the president flipping off a heckler and repeatedly telling him “F…
Healthcare Workers Avoid Vaccine Mandate By Identifying As Members Of Congress
U.S.-- Immediately after SCOTUS ruled that healthcare workers are unable to make their own decisions regarding their bodies, employees in the medical field came up with the ingenious idea of…
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Daily Soak is an American satire news company that’s run out of a squalid sweatshop in the outskirts of Beijing, China under various labor law...
