REDWOOD CITY, CALIFORNIA– Fundraising platform GoFundMe announced early this morning that it has tested positive for COVID-19 and needs to go into hiding and self-isolate for an indefinite amount of time.
The site went on to say their sudden coronavirus diagnosis has nothing to do with the current backlash it’s receiving for pulling the funds of the Canadian truckers for freedom convoy.
“This morning, I tested positive for COVID-19,” tweeted GoFundMe from an undisclosed location. “I’ll be working remotely and will continue to ban any fundraisers that don’t support leftist policies, violence, and murder.”
After promising that the totally hidden and indefinite isolation doesn’t have anything to do with the current backlash, GoFundMe added, “Oh, and please don’t try to find me. Not because I’m scared of the backlash, but, uh, because I wouldn’t want to infect anyone with my scary virus. Cough, cough.”
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau gave a shoutout to GoFundMe from his official Twitter account, telling the crowdfunding site, “Welcome to the club, GoFundMe. I too am hiding out from vicious attacks just because a small fringe of ungrateful Canadians don’t appreciate my mostly peaceful authoritarian policies.”
Anonymous sources have come forward and claimed that GoFundMe is actually Justin Trudeau disguised as an internet platform. Many critics are now calling on Trudeau to apologize for wearing platform-face.
