Senate Leader John Thune Refuses To Bring SAVE Act To Floor, Citing Grave Danger Of Accidentally Winning Midterms
WASHINGTON—After returning from another three week vacation, Senate Majority Leader John Thune…
Dogs And Cats Across Country Terrified After Congress Votes To Keep Haitian Immigrants On TPS
U.S. — A wave of unprecedented anxiety is sweeping through the nation…
Supreme Court Leak Investigation Stalls After Ketanji Brown Jackson Admits ‘I’m Not A Plumber’
WASHINGTON — Following yet another unprecedented, behind-the-scenes disclosure of the Supreme Court’s…
In New Book, Franklin The Turtle Doesn’t Recognize Canada Anymore
TORONTO, CANADA — In a startling shift from the gentle woodland life…
Ilhan Omar Blames Net-Worth Error On Hiring Accountant Who Got His Math Degree From The Quality Learing Center
WASHINGTON — Following a sudden and staggering downward revision of her net…
Shirtless RFK Jr. Demonstrates HHS Qualifications By Slamming Congressman Through Table
WASHINGTON — While getting fiercely grilled by Democrat Congressmembers during his first…
Mayor Mamdani Taps Biden As Advisor For City-Run Grocery Store Due To His Experience With Empty Shelves
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK—Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced that he has hired…
Last Day For Americans To File Taxes And Claim Ukraine, Somalis, Israel And Illegal Aliens As Dependents
U.S. — With the April 15 tax deadline looming, millions of Americans…
Keir Starmer Demands Investigation Into Prime Minister’s Handling Of UK
LONDON, UK — Prime Minister Keir Starmer has called for an urgent…
Trump Signs Executive Order Mandating All Doctors Wear White Robes And Red Sashes
WASHINGTON—Citing a desperate need for clarity in the medical field, President Donald…
Unemployed Eric Swalwell Worried Wife’s Presence Might Make Midday Hooker Orgies Awkward
DUBLIN, CALIFORNIA — Following his abrupt resignation from Congress and disgraced exit…
Democrats Release Most Damning Eric Swalwell Video Yet Of Him Leaving Shopping Cart In Parking Lot
WASHINGTON — Calling it the most disturbing evidence to date of a…
