Mark Carney Taps Newly Arrived Immigrant To Oversee Preservation Of Canadian Identity
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney announced Tuesday that newly arrived…
Mark Carney Calls Newsom For Advice On How To Rig Alberta’s Election
OTTAWA, CANADA — With Alberta voters heading to the polls to decide…
Tennessee Asks Canada For Help With Christa Pike Execution After Learning Canadian Doctors Have More Experience Killing People
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE — Tennessee officials announced Thursday that the state was turning to…
Canada Assures White Canadians MAID Will Make Room For Someone From Overseas
OTTAWA, CANADA — The Canadian government assured White Canadians this week that…
Canada’s Official United Nations Address Delivered Entirely In Punjabi
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — International diplomats were left tapping their translation…
Mark Carney Spins Prize Wheel To Determine Which Country Canada Will Sell Out To Next
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney unveiled a new foreign-policy…
EU Solves Immigration Crisis By Making Canada An Associate Member
BRUSSELS — The European Union announced Wednesday that it had solved its…
Satan Threatens To Send Unruly Sinners Back To Canada To Wait For Medical Treatment
HELL — Satan announced recently that he has instituted a new disciplinary…
Trump Escalates Trade War By Shrinking Canada By 50% On All U.S. Maps
WASHINGTON — In a dramatic escalation in the growing trade war with Canada,…
Canada Retaliates Against America By Instructing Border Guards To Aggressively Roll Their Eyes At U.S. Passports
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Following the sudden collapse of trade negotiations and the…
Doug Ford Threatens To Punish America By Stopping Ontario From Making Money
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Ontario Premier Doug Ford issued a stern warning to…
Mark Carney Awards Himself ‘Employee Of The Year’
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney was honored with the prestigious…