Local Canada Goose Disgusted Watching Immigrant Poop On Toronto Beach
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Staring in disgusted silence as an immigrant squatted and…
In New Book, Franklin The Turtle Doesn’t Recognize Canada Anymore
TORONTO, CANADA — In a startling shift from the gentle woodland life…
Irish Government Deploys Justin Trudeau To Restore Order To Trucker Protest
DUBLIN, IRELAND—With thousands of Irish truckers currently flooding the roadways to protest…
Canadians Wondering When Real Prime Minister Going To Show Up
CANADA—Expressing a quiet, shared assumption that the current situation was temporary, millions…
Costco Canada Now Offering Bulk Euthanasia Packages For The Whole Family
OTTAWA, CANADA—In a move to further streamline the most successful healthcare initiative…
Canadian Man Finally Reaches Front Of ER Line Just In Time For Autopsy
TORONTO, ONTARIO — After what Canada Health described as a triumph of administrative…
Mark Carney Secures Historic Foreign Investment After Modi Agrees To Send Millions More Indians Into Canada
NEW DELHI, INDIA — During his recent trip to India, Canadian Prime…
Canadian Government Holds Emergency Meeting To Figure Out How To Blame Trump For Hockey Loss
OTTAWA, CANADA — In what Canadian officials described as a national narrative…
Supreme Court Rules U.S. Men’s Hockey Team Banned From Scoring Against Canada
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 6 to 3 decision, the U.S. Supreme…
Mark Carney Prevents Future Trans School Shootings By Banning All Canada Schools
OTTAWA, CANADA — In a move hailed by the Liberal government as…
China Appoints Mark Carney Provincial Party Secretary Of Canada
BEIJING, CHINA — In a move described by state media as largely…
Worried Canadians Hold Intervention For Family Member Still Doing ‘Elbows Up’
TORONTO, CANADA — Concerned Canadian relatives gathered quietly in a semi circle…