Scientists Rediscover Rare White Canadian Species Thought To Be Extinct
BRAMPTON, ONTARIO — In a stunning breakthrough that has captivated the global scientific…
Canada Announces $100 Billion Ukraine Aid Package To Combat Canadian Wildfires
OTTAWA, CANADA — With record wildfires continuing to burn across Canada while…
Gavin Newsom Teaches Mark Carney How To Blame Wildfires On Trump While Cutting Firefighting Budgets
OTTAWA, CANADA — With wildfires once again spreading across Canada and toxic…
Mark Carney Celebrates Grocery Inflation Slowdown After Canadians Can No Longer Afford Groceries
OTTAWA — Touting a massive economic victory for the middle class, Prime…
Tearful Mark Carney Uses Canada Day Address To Thank Millions Of Indian Immigrants For Replacing Nation’s White People
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Wiping away tears during a deeply emotional, nationally televised…
Canadian Man Arrested For Wearing Clothes Within 500 Feet Of Pride Parade
TORONTO, ONTARIO — In a shocking display of bigotry and public indecency,…
Mark Carney Secures Historic Foreign Investment After Modi Agrees To Supply 500,000 Future Tim Hortons Workers
ÉVIAN-LES-BAINS, FRANCE — Heralding it as a transformative victory for the domestic…
Mark Carney Honors Obama Visit With Drone Strikes On Canadian Civilians
OTTAWA, CANADA — In a touching diplomatic tribute designed to make the…
Local Canada Goose Disgusted Watching Immigrant Poop On Toronto Beach
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Staring in disgusted silence as an immigrant squatted and…
In New Book, Franklin The Turtle Doesn’t Recognize Canada Anymore
TORONTO, CANADA — In a startling shift from the gentle woodland life…
Irish Government Deploys Justin Trudeau To Restore Order To Trucker Protest
DUBLIN, IRELAND—With thousands of Irish truckers currently flooding the roadways to protest…
Canadians Wondering When Real Prime Minister Going To Show Up
CANADA—Expressing a quiet, shared assumption that the current situation was temporary, millions…