Man Arrives In Hell To Discover Eternal Torment Is Just Being Followed By Flock Cameras
HELL — A newly damned man arrived in Hell this week expecting…
Doug Ford Threatens To Punish America By Stopping Ontario From Making Money
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Ontario Premier Doug Ford issued a stern warning to…
Mark Carney Caves On Tariffs After Trump Threatens To Return Ted Cruz To Canada
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney abruptly caved on Canada's retaliatory…
Harry And Meghan Demand Privacy During Nationwide Publicity Tour To Announce Their Return To Britain
LONDON, UK — In a desperate bid to finally be left alone,…
North Korea Fears Trump’s Compliments Have Ruined Its Terrifying Dictatorship Reputation
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA — North Korean officials expressed growing concern Tuesday that…
UK Solves Migrant Rape Epidemic By Declaring Entire Country A ‘Rape-Free Zone’
LONDON, UK — Following a shocking surge in violent crime and assaults…
Mark Carney Awards Himself ‘Employee Of The Year’
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney was honored with the prestigious…
Martians Starting To Feel Like Aliens On Their Own Planet After Influx Of 10 Million Earthling Settlers
JEZERO CRATER, MARS — Gazing out over a red, dust-swept valley now…
Tragic: King Charles Forced To Squeeze His Own Toothpaste After Royal Valet Called Out Sick
LONDON, UK — The Union Jack is flying at half-mast above Buckingham…
Scientists Rediscover Rare White Canadian Species Thought To Be Extinct
BRAMPTON, ONTARIO — In a stunning breakthrough that has captivated the global scientific…
Britain Solves Spanish Border Crisis By Dispatching Ferry To Bring Moroccans Directly To The UK
LONDON, UK — Declaring that every international crisis is merely an opportunity…
German Leaders Praise Terrorist Suspect For Ramming Pride Attendees Rather Than Throwing Them Off Rooftops
BERLIN, GERMANY — In a stunning display of progressive optimism following Saturday’s…
