Satan Threatens To Send Unruly Sinners Back To Canada To Wait For Medical Treatment
HELL — Satan announced recently that he has instituted a new disciplinary…
UK Prime Minister Andy Burnham Drops ‘Ham’ From Name To Avoid Offending Muslim Voters
LONDON — Newly installed UK Prime Minister Andy Burnham announced Sunday that…
Indian Man Arrested For Vandalizing Neighborhood By Cleaning It Up
NEW DELHI, INDIA—Local authorities have arrested an Indian man who allegedly vandalized…
UK Officials Ask Public To Stop Interfering With Government’s Efforts To Ignore The Border
LONDON, UK — British officials are asking members of the public to…
Keir Starmer Wondering If He’s Still Invited To Next Year’s World Leaders’ Coke Party
LONDON, UK — Pacing the living room of his remarkably quiet home,…
UK Police Assure Residents They Have Knife Crime Under Control As Long As They Avoid All Dangerous Areas, People, Activities, And Leaving The House
LONDON, UK — In a highly anticipated press conference inside Scotland Yard,…
Canada Retaliates Against America By Instructing Border Guards To Aggressively Roll Their Eyes At U.S. Passports
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Following the sudden collapse of trade negotiations and the…
India Retaliates Against Visa Pause By Tripling IRS Arrest Warrants And Extended Car Warranty Scam Calls
NEW DELHI, INDIA — India announced Wednesday that it would retaliate against…
Man Arrives In Hell To Discover Eternal Torment Is Just Being Followed By Flock Cameras
HELL — A newly damned man arrived in Hell this week expecting…
Doug Ford Threatens To Punish America By Stopping Ontario From Making Money
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Ontario Premier Doug Ford issued a stern warning to…
Mark Carney Caves On Tariffs After Trump Threatens To Return Ted Cruz To Canada
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney abruptly caved on Canada's retaliatory…
Harry And Meghan Demand Privacy During Nationwide Publicity Tour To Announce Their Return To Britain
LONDON, UK — In a desperate bid to finally be left alone,…
