Kash Patel Lures Eric Swalwell Out Of Hiding By Dressing As Chinese Prostitute
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA — After weeks of struggling to locate former Rep.…
AOC Weeps Outside Empty Minnesota Daycare Over Thousands Of Imaginary Somali Children Being Deported
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — During an emotional press conference Friday outside an empty…
AOC Breaks Up With Fiancé, Gently Suggests They Should ‘Both See Other Men’
WASHINGTON — In a bittersweet end to a long-term political romance, Rep.…
Newsom Spotted Committing Crimes In Florida To Sabotage DeSantis’ Record-Low Crime Rate
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA — Florida authorities were reportedly baffled Wednesday after Governor Gavin…
Congress Condemns Reduced Vaccine Schedule For Threatening Health Of Their Stock Portfolios
WASHINGTON — Members of Congress expressed grave concern Monday over the Trump administration’s…
Abdul El-Sayed Spotted Casually Trying On Several Tactical Vests
DEARBORN, MICHIGAN — Michigan Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed was spotted at a…
AOC Livestreams Herself Beginning Egg-Freezing Process By Swallowing Three Bags Of Ice Cubes
WASHINGTON — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) took to Instagram Live this weekend…
Congress Finally Reaches Bipartisan Agreement To Ignore Voters
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of bipartisan cooperation, congressional Republicans and…
Mamdani Labels Grocery ID Critics ‘Grocery Fraud Deniers’
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Declaring that democracy begins in the produce…
Trump Asks Siri If He’s Currently At War With Iran
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump paused a meeting inside the Oval Office…
Doctors Say Mitch McConnell Making Steady Recovery From Being Dead
WASHINGTON — In an effort to dispel mounting conspiracy theories regarding the…
Nervous Fauci Calms Himself By Imagining Rand Paul As A Beagle Getting Bitten By Sandflies
WASHINGTON — Facing another brutal, three-hour interrogation from the House Oversight Committee,…
