WASHINGTON – Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, AOC, accused Americans of rampant Islamophobia Tuesday after learning that millions of people across the country had failed to participate in the Diwali Hindu manure festival, a traditional celebration she mistakenly identified as an important Muslim holiday.
“It’s really disturbing that so many Americans are unwilling to embrace other cultures,” said AOC, who criticized the country’s failure to recognize the occasion with a federal holiday. “We celebrate Christmas, we celebrate Thanksgiving, but apparently when it comes to celebrating the traditions of marginalized communities, suddenly everybody has an excuse.”
The congresswoman’s remarks came after she learned about Gorehabba, a traditional festival in parts of India in which participants celebrate by throwing cow dung at one another. Although the celebration is associated with the Hindu festival of Diwali and has no particular connection to Islam, AOC reportedly dismissed the distinction as an example of the religious divisions she was hoping to overcome.
AOC called on Congress to introduce legislation making the manure festival a federal holiday, arguing that American workers deserved time off to participate in the crap-smearing festivities.
She also proposed that cow dung be made available at the government’s expense to ensure that all Americans would have access to bovine poop and that nobody would be excluded due to financial circumstances.
At press time, AOC was reportedly preparing a statement condemning Americans for refusing to celebrate Eid al-Fitr, which she had just learned was the Hindu version of Christmas.
