‘Empire Strikes Back’ Scene Redubbed For New York TV: ‘No, I Am Your Non-Gestating Parent’
NEW YORK, NY — The iconic scene from The Empire Strikes Back…
CNN Anchor Dana Bash Pauses RFK Jr. Interview To Check Bank App For Pfizer Wire Transfer
WASHINGTON — During a highly combative Sunday morning segment on CNN’s State…
CNN Warns Mass Haitian Deportations Will Cause Humanitarian Crisis Due To Shortage Of Cats To Eat
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — Following the Supreme Court's recent decision allowing the Trump…
Luke Skywalker Posts Heartfelt Father’s Day Tribute To Man Who Cut Off His Hand
AHCH-TO — In a touching Father's Day social media post Sunday, Jedi…
Mark Levin Warns ‘America First’ Platform Contains Disturbing Amount Of America
LOUDOUN, VIRGINIA — Conservative radio host Mark Levin warned his listeners that…
Stevie Wonder Says He Doesn’t See Any Problem With Obama Library Design
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS — As criticism continues to mount over the appearance of…
Sesame Street Defends Pride Month Episode Where New Trans Muppet Opens Fire On Heteronormative Co-Stars
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Following a wave of intense parent pushback…
Tensions Rise On Ben Shapiro’s Forehead As Right Eyebrow Annexes Left Eyebrow Territory
BOCA RATON, FLORIDA — Insisting that the historic expansion was both necessary…
Balenciaga Introduces First-Ever Designer Adrenochrome IV Bag For The Busy Celeb On The Go
NEW YORK — Stating that the modern celebrity simply doesn't have the…
Galactic Inflation Hits Hard As Single Portion Of Blue Milk Now Costs 45 Credits
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE — Families across the Outer Rim are waking up…
CNN Accuses Trump Of Being ‘Aggressively Uncooperative’ For Refusing To Be Assassinated
WASHINGTON — In a blistering prime-time segment following Saturday night’s chaos at…
Trump Sends Steven Seagal To Singlehandedly Defeat Entire Iranian Military, Assures War Will End Before Credits Roll
WASHINGTON — Expressing frustration with the slow pacing and boring dialogue of…
