HOLLYWOOD– Causing shock-waves throughout the entertainment industry and breaking the hearts of millions of adoring women around the world, tough guy Jason Statham came out on live television this afternoon on none other than The Ellen Degeneres Show.
The brawny British action star with the lustrous head of hair has officially come out of the back dressing room of the Ellen Degeneres set and onto the stage, showing the entire world just how brave and modern he really is. After coming out, he greeted the squirrely host with a scruffy smile and a firm handshake, proving once again just how brave and modern he really is.
“I can’t believe you decided to come out on my show,” said a flabbergasted Ellen as they both sat down on Ellen’s infamous red chairs. “Wow, this, this, this’s unreal, Jason. I mean, you actually just came out from the backroom dressing area and now here you are, sitting in front of me of all people. I don’t know what to say.”
“I think you said enough,” Statham joked, flexing his rippling chest underneath of a tight black dress shirt. “What better place to come out from a backroom than here on your lovely show.”
After using a red asthma inhaler to catch her breath, Ellen pulled her chair in closer and stared at Statham. “Wow, I, I just can’t believe you came out here, on my show of all places. Tell me, Jason, how’d you prepare for this. I mean, this definitely had to take a lot of courage to come out here from the backroom.”
“Well, it’s like they say back in my hometown of Brussels,” said Statham, posing for the cameras, “if you’re gonna come out then come out big. And that’s what I did.”
“Wow,” Ellen reiterated as she fanned herself off with her cue cards. “They don’t call you ‘the muscles from Brussels’ for nothing. By the way, I loved you in Bloodsport. Anywho. So tell me, Jay, you mind if I call you Jay, now that you’ve come out of the backroom dressing area?”
“Yeah, I mind,” Statham said, blowing a kiss to a few disappointed women in the crowd. “No offense, Ellen, but this wasn’t easy coming out of your backroom area. Usually when I do interviews somewhere I slide down from a hole in the ceiling. Ya know, to keep up with my image as the world’s number one action star.”
“Understood,” said Ellen as they cut to commercial. “I only wish I had the courage to do the same.”
Look for Jason Statham on the cover of next month’s Time magazine with the caption “Yep, I’m Jay.”
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