Cigarettes Leading Cause Of Cigarette Smoke, Says Scientist

BRONX, NEW YORK– A top vapor scientist from New York has recently discovered that the strange cigarette smoke following smokers around is actually caused by cigarettes.

At a symposium inside the Marlboro University of the Sciences, Dr. Jeff Fahey shared his startling discovery with the 420 fellow scientists in attendance that the unexplained billowy cigarette smoke was actually coming from the elusive cigarette itself.

“After twenty-one years of extensive research,” 53 year old Dr. Fahey explained, his large nose twitching with enthusiasm, “and 3.6 billion dollars in funding, I was finally able to trace the origin of the cigarette smoke back to the cigarette in the mouths of the smokers.”

After wiping away much-deserved tears of happiness, Dr. Fahey continued. “Apparently, after someone lights a cigarette with some form of fire, the cigarette seems to ignite somehow, causing its contents to heat up and emit this peculiar smoke.”

Before Dr. Fahey even finished his groundbreaking speech, 420 scientists gave the tenacious scientist a standing ovation.

“I just want you all to know, this is only the beginning,” promised Dr. Fahey, blowing his nose onto his white lab coat. “Which is why I’m asking members of the board, our donors as well as you fine gentlemen to further my research and contribute financially to the continuing study of the cigarette smoke. For some reason, I believe that this smoke may have some rudimentary effect on a smoker’s lungs.”

Dr. Fahey earned his PhD. in Combustible Science from Smokey Robinson College.