EU Solves Objectification Of Female Athletes By Mandating Progressive, Full-Body Burkas
BRUSSELS — Building upon recent European Broadcasting Union guidelines aimed at eliminating…
MLB Suspends God For Three Games Following Unauthorized Rainbow Usage
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA — In a landmark disciplinary action, Major League Baseball…
Trump Unveils Pride Month Concession By Appointing Lindsey Graham As Lead Octagon Girl For UFC Freedom Event
WASHINGTON — In a historic bipartisan compromise to appease angry Democrats and fulfill…
Team USA Hockey Players Try To Figure Out Who Invited The Taxi Driver Into Locker Room
MILAN, ITALY– Following their gold medal victory at the Winter Olympics, members…
Team USA Olympic Athletes Request Asylum In Communist China To Escape Oppression Of American Freedom
ITALY — In a dramatic mid-Games development, several members of Team USA…
Bad Bunny Super Bowl Halftime Show Performance To Feature California Homeless Fentanyl Addicts As Backup Dancers
SANTA CLARA, CALIFORNIA —In a groundbreaking move to celebrate authentic California diversity,…
Jake Paul Visits Nursing Home Looking For Next Boxing Opponent
SUNSET HAVEN, CALIFORNIA-- Fresh off his devastating loss to Anthony Joshua, YouTube…
NAACP Demands NHL End Systemic Beating Of Black Pucks By Predominantly White Hockey Players
U.S.-- The NAACP, joined by other prominent black advocacy groups, has issued…
Citizens Beg Trump To Drop Tariffs On Canada After Doug Ford Streaks Through World Series In Retaliation
CANADA / US-- In a major escalation in the ongoing U.S.-Canada tariff…
Taylor Swift’s Engagement Contract Forces Travis Kelce To Change Last Name To ‘Swift’
U.S.-- In a shocking display of alpha-female dominance, pop sensation Taylor Swift…
Tim Walz Joins Minnesota Vikings Cheerleading Squad To Boost Team’s Estrogen Levels
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA-- After facing backlash for the inclusion of male cheerleaders in…
The Iron Sheik Ambushes Hulk Hogan As He Arrives In Heaven
HEAVEN-- After passing away at the age of 71-years-old, the iconic leg-dropping,…
