SUNSET HAVEN, CALIFORNIA– Fresh off his devastating loss to Anthony Joshua, YouTube sensation-turned-occasional boxer Jake Paul was reportedly spotted touring a local nursing home Wednesday in search of his next opponent.
According to witnesses, Jake Paul arrived at the assisted living facility with a full production crew, three contract lawyers, and a portable ring light, announcing he was getting back to his roots by fighting someone who hasn’t had a competitive advantage since the JFK administration.
Tensions briefly escalated when Paul attempted to psychologically dominate one potential opponent by squatting in front of a 91-year-old crippled woman sitting on her wheelchair.
“Hey, grandma, stand up right now and stop ducking me, you coward,” screamed Paul down at the deaf old woman as he shadowboxed aggressively only inches from her face. “Stop hiding. You’re just scared of real competition. Why don’t you stand up and fight me like a man? I’ll absolutely fold you in the ring, you chump?”
At press time, negotiations reportedly stalled after the little old lady demanded Paul fight her great-grandson instead, a 22-year-old amateur boxer, causing Jake Paul to immediately leave the facility, citing a prior commitment to fight a 80-year-old quadriplegic mall Santa.
