Target Apologizes To Black Community For Racist Clown Costume By Offering 10% Off Next Purchase Of Fried Chicken
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Following a nationwide PR disaster, Target executives issued a sweeping…
Texas Longhorn Forced To Sell Itself On Street Corner After Losing Job To Cheaper Foreign Cattle
FORT WORTH, TEXAS — A Texas Longhorn who spent years preparing for a…
Lindsay Clancy Supporters Erect 40-Foot Bronze Altar To Moloch Outside Courthouse
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — The plaza outside the Plymouth County Courthouse took on a distinctively…
Man Tries To Impress Date By Filling SUV With Premium Gas
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA — A local man reportedly attempted to impress his date Friday…
Minnesota Weather Service Forecasts 90% Chance Of Mugging
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — The Minnesota Weather Service issued a statewide Mugging Advisory on…
Illegal Alien Learns Olive Garden Has Stricter ID Requirements Than U.S. Elections
ORLANDO, FLORIDA — Saying the experience had left him deeply confused about…
California Investigating Smokey Bear For Agreeing With Trump’s Advice To ‘Just Rake The Forests’
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA—The California Department of Justice announced that it has launched a…
California Blocks Wildfire Prevention Project To Preserve Historic Brush Responsible For Previous Wildfires
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — State officials announced this week that a proposed wildfire…
Man Wakes From 30-Year Coma, Finds Gas At $400 A Gallon And U.S. ‘Hours Away’ From Iran Peace Deal
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND — Waking up in the year 2056 after three decades…
Chicago Observes Memorial Day By Honoring Brave Gang Members Who Gave Their Lives Defending The Block
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS — As millions of Americans paused Monday to honor the…
Lockheed Martin Releases Touching Mother’s Day Ad Thanking Moms For ‘Raising Our Future Customer Base’
BETHESDA, MARYLAND — In a bold departure from traditional corporate holiday messaging, global…
Dead Voters Beg Congress To Pass SAVE Act So They Can Finally Rest In Peace
U.S. —Citing extreme exhaustion and a desperate desire for eternal slumber, a…
