Biden Tells Black Juror He ‘Ain’t Black’ If He Votes To Convict Lindsay Clancy
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — Former President Joe Biden reportedly reached out to the…
Female Clancy Jurors Say They Felt ‘Unsafe’ Around Male Holdout Who Kept Insisting Killing Children Should Have Consequences
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — Several female jurors who deliberated in the Lindsay Clancy…
Georgia Authorities Rule HeeHaw The Donkey Died By Suicide After Shooting Himself Twice In Back Of Head
CEDARTOWN, GEORGIA—Putting to rest weeks of online speculation and public outrage, the…
Child Asks Dad If ‘Mistrial’ Means Mom Is Allowed To Start Killing People Now
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — Following the breaking news of a mistrial in the…
Lindsay Clancy Jury Deadlocked After Female Jurors Ask To Consult TikTok First
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — After spending nearly 18 hours reviewing evidence, listening to…
Progressive Judge Explains That Keeping A Dangerous Criminal Off The Streets Only Solves The Problem Of Public Safety
CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA — A progressive judge explained Monday that keeping a…
Lindsay Clancy Supporters Erect 40-Foot Bronze Altar To Moloch Outside Courthouse
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — The plaza outside the Plymouth County Courthouse took on a distinctively…
Newsom Spotted Committing Crimes In Florida To Sabotage DeSantis’ Record-Low Crime Rate
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA — Florida authorities were reportedly baffled Wednesday after Governor Gavin…
Minnesota Weather Service Forecasts 90% Chance Of Mugging
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — The Minnesota Weather Service issued a statewide Mugging Advisory on…
German Leaders Praise Terrorist Suspect For Ramming Pride Attendees Rather Than Throwing Them Off Rooftops
BERLIN, GERMANY — In a stunning display of progressive optimism following Saturday’s…
Ilhan Omar Argues Embezzling $250 Million Was Victimless Crime Since Kids Were Made Up Anyway
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Standing before a crowded press pool on Friday, Representative…
Newsom Announces 31% Crime Drop Was Verified By Auditors From ‘Quality Learing Center’
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — In a press conference aimed at silencing right-wing critics,…