Keir Starmer Condemns Belfast Attacker For Not Using Ethically Sourced Knife To Try To Behead Victim
LONDON, UK — Addressing the nation following a horrific knife attack in…
Sesame Street Defends Pride Month Episode Where New Trans Muppet Opens Fire On Heteronormative Co-Stars
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Following a wave of intense parent pushback…
White British Man Arrested Posthumously For Insensitivity Toward Immigrant Assailant
LONDON, UK — Praising the swift and decisive action of their officers,…
Chicago Observes Memorial Day By Honoring Brave Gang Members Who Gave Their Lives Defending The Block
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS — As millions of Americans paused Monday to honor the…
Disappointed Indian Parents Devastated To Learn Son Hasn’t Scammed A Single Elderly Woman’s Savings
MUMBAI, INDIA — Saying they had sacrificed everything to give him a…
UK Stabbing Victim Accused Of Distressing Migrant Attacker By Trying To Stop Attack
LONDON, UK — Expressing deep disappointment over a flagrant breach of modern…
European Union Apologizes To Car-Ramming Terrorist For Dents Left In His Rental Vehicle By Civilians
BRUSSELS — In a globally televised press conference Sunday morning, top officials…
FBI Frustrated As Trail Of Missing Scientists Keeps Leading Back To FBI
WASHINGTON — Expressing mounting exasperation over a seemingly unsolvable nationwide mystery, the…
Ilhan Omar Blames Net-Worth Error On Hiring Accountant Who Got His Math Degree From The Quality Learing Center
WASHINGTON — Following a sudden and staggering downward revision of her net…
Democrats Release Most Damning Eric Swalwell Video Yet Of Him Leaving Shopping Cart In Parking Lot
WASHINGTON — Calling it the most disturbing evidence to date of a…
Criminals Accuse Other Criminals Of Being Criminals
WASHINGTON—Expressing feigned shock that a fellow member of the ruling class would…
Gavin Newsom Appoints Gavin Newsom To Investigate Fraud Committed Under Gavin Newsom
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Following a relentless barrage of reports from pesky independent…