WASHINGTON — Following a sudden and staggering downward revision of her net worth from a maximum of $30 million to just under $95,000, Rep. Ilhan Omar attributed the massive $29.9 million discrepancy to a newly hired financial advisor whose primary qualification was a mathematics degree from a Minneapolis strip-mall daycare known as the Quality Learing Center.
The accountant, identified as a Somali man who primarily operates out of a rented U-Haul, reportedly made the catastrophic error because he utilized the standard “Minnesota Daycare Arithmetic” for Ilhan Omar’s personal checking account.
“It’s an easy mistake for anyone to make,” Ilhan Omar said during a press conference, defending the oversight. “When I saw ‘Quality Learing Center’ on his resume, I assumed he was top of his class at a prestigious local institution. To me, the math makes perfect sense. But then again, I’m not a mathematician.”
When reached for comment, the Somali accountant defended his work, telling reporters that math is entirely subjective and saying, “Eighteen thousand or thirty million. These are all just numbers.”
At press time, Omar’s office confirmed they had officially fired the Somali accountant before rehiring him as the new Chief Financial Officer for the State of Minnesota.
