WASHINGTON– In an effort to impede the MAGA agenda, several Republican lawmakers were spotted Monday literally burying President Donald Trump’s long-promised agenda bill on the Capitol Hill lawn, taking the concept of “killing” a bill to new depths.
Sources close to the matter have confirmed that several high-profile GOP senators, frustrated with President Trump’s persistent efforts to pass his agenda, have resorted to burying the proposed legislation in the Capitol Hill grounds. Senators Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and Lisa Murkowski used shovels to throw dirt over stacks of printed bills.
“Sometimes a bill just needs a peaceful burial,” joked Lindsey Graham as he patted the dirt down over the bill. “It had no chance of passing, but it had a good heart. We will fondly remember the days we pretended to support this.”
The move is seen as a desperate attempt to stall Trump’s agenda until his term ends, allowing the RINOs to return to their comfort zone of doing absolutely nothing while pretending to represent conservative values. Insiders reveal that the senators have been secretly coordinating with Democratic leaders to ensure the bills are buried at the exact depth required to prevent accidental discovery during future landscaping projects.
Capitol groundskeepers arriving for work Tuesday morning initially believed the mysterious dirt patch was evidence of raccoons.
“Turns out it was just Republicans in Congress again,” one worker said, shaking his head. “Every time a new bill is introduced that would benefit the American people they bury it out here.”
The White House has condemned the act as “un-American,” with Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt stating, “This is what happens when you elect Republicans who are allergic to winning.” In response, the RINO senators have vowed to plant more bills, promising to “make the Capitol Hill grounds the most bipartisan graveyard in history.”
