Congress Condemns Reduced Vaccine Schedule For Threatening Health Of Their Stock Portfolios
WASHINGTON — Members of Congress expressed grave concern Monday over the Trump administration’s…
Congress Finally Reaches Bipartisan Agreement To Ignore Voters
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of bipartisan cooperation, congressional Republicans and…
Nervous Fauci Calms Himself By Imagining Rand Paul As A Beagle Getting Bitten By Sandflies
WASHINGTON — Facing another brutal, three-hour interrogation from the House Oversight Committee,…
Bombshell Fauci Diary Reveals The Hardest Part Of Fighting COVID Was Fending Off Biden In The Shower
WASHINGTON — After years of stonewalling, the House Oversight Committee finally released…
Raytheon, Lockheed Martin Lower Flags To Half-Mast For Top Salesman Lindsey Graham
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA — Defense contractors across the country entered an official period…
Congress Introduces Bill Allowing Dead Lawmakers To Continue Voting Via Ouija Board
WASHINGTON — In what congressional leaders hailed as a "common-sense modernization of government,"…
Mitch McConnell’s Office Insists Proof Of Life Photo Is Authentic
WASHINGTON — Hoping to put weeks of speculation about the senator's whereabouts…
John Thune Explains He’s Just Not Ready For A Serious Relationship With SAVE Act
WASHINGTON — Senate Majority Leader John Thune sat down with reporters Tuesday…
Democrats Halt Midterm Campaign Spending After Realizing RINOs Doing The Work For Them
WASHINGTON — In a stunning cost-saving measure, the Democratic National Committee has announced…
D.C. Swamp Holds Candlelight Vigil For Ousted RINO Republicans
WASHINGTON — In a rare, tearful display of true bipartisan solidarity, thousands…
Chuck Schumer Praises John Thune For Being The Best Democrat In The Senate
WASHINGTON — Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer stunned reporters after publicly praising…
Dead Voters Beg Congress To Pass SAVE Act So They Can Finally Rest In Peace
U.S. —Citing extreme exhaustion and a desperate desire for eternal slumber, a…