Senate Leader John Thune Refuses To Bring SAVE Act To Floor, Citing Grave Danger Of Accidentally Winning Midterms
WASHINGTON—After returning from another three week vacation, Senate Majority Leader John Thune…
Shirtless RFK Jr. Demonstrates HHS Qualifications By Slamming Congressman Through Table
WASHINGTON — While getting fiercely grilled by Democrat Congressmembers during his first…
Congress Takes Break From Doing Nothing To Continue Doing Nothing For Easter
WASHINGTON — Exhausted from months of not doing anything productive, members of…
Nation Beginning To Suspect Congress Is Not Acting In Their Best Interests
WASHINGTON — Following decades of stagnant wages, crumbling infrastructure, and the rising…
Republicans Worried Passing SAVE Act May Lead To Election Integrity
WASHINGTON — Expressing what they described as a quiet but deeply uncomfortable concern,…
Unemployed Dan Crenshaw Joins Somali Pirates After Realizing Plunder More Lucrative Than Insider Trading
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA — Following a devastating primary defeat that left him ousted…
U.S. Unveils Israel Loyalty Punch Card: Buy 10 Congress Members, Get 1 Free Middle East War
WASHINGTON — In an effort to streamline a long-standing bipartisan tradition, the…
Republicans Demand Trump Stop Implementing GOP Platform So They Can Keep Fundraising Off Pretending To Support It
WASHINGTON—In an emergency closed-door meeting Friday, a coalition of concerned Senate Republicans…
Congressman Shri Thanedar Pauses Immigration Hearing To Sell ICE Director Extended Warranty On His 2005 Honda Civic
WASHINGTON — In a bizarre exchange during today's highly anticipated Immigration hearings,…
Congress Holds Epstein’s Pilot In Contempt For Refusing To Answer Any Questions
WASHINGTON — A tense congressional hearing erupted into outrage Thursday after Congress…
Mitch McConnell Refuses Retirement, Announces Senate Career Will Continue As Desk-Mounted Brain
WASHINGTON — After doctors confirmed his body could no longer reliably perform…
Congress Declares ‘Swamp Drained’ After Passing $2 DOGE Budget Cut
WASHINGTON-- Cheers erupted across Capitol Hill Thursday as Congress triumphantly declared the…