WASHINGTON — Exhausted from months of not doing anything productive, members of Congress announced Sunday they would temporarily pause their regularly scheduled inaction in order to observe Easter by continuing that same inaction but in a more festive context.
“This is an important time for reflection, family, and maintaining the exact level of productivity Americans have come to expect from us,” said House Speaker Mike Johnson, packing a set of golf clubs into his taxpayer-funded SUV. “While we normally do nothing during the week, today we’ll be doing nothing with a renewed sense of purpose.”
According to aides, the Easter recess will involve lawmakers stepping away from their usual not doing anything in Washington to instead not do anything in their home districts, continuing their proud tradition of not getting a single piece of meaningful legislation passed.
With congressional approval ratings hovering in the dismal 16% range, the American public seemed largely unbothered by the recess and even happy Congress members weren’t at the Capitol spending billions of dollars to make the country worse.
At press time, lawmakers were expected to return to Washington next week, where they will resume their normal schedule of doing nothing.
