Mayor Mamdani Executes Defiant Air Conditioner To Enforce Heatwave Edict
NEW YORK — Standing before a high-definition camera in front of City…
Canadian Man Arrested For Wearing Clothes Within 500 Feet Of Pride Parade
TORONTO, ONTARIO — In a shocking display of bigotry and public indecency,…
Sesame Street Defends Pride Month Episode Where New Trans Muppet Opens Fire On Heteronormative Co-Stars
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Following a wave of intense parent pushback…
Balenciaga Introduces First-Ever Designer Adrenochrome IV Bag For The Busy Celeb On The Go
NEW YORK — Stating that the modern celebrity simply doesn't have the…
Unemployed Eric Swalwell Worried Wife’s Presence Might Make Midday Hooker Orgies Awkward
DUBLIN, CALIFORNIA — Following his abrupt resignation from Congress and disgraced exit…
Costco Canada Now Offering Bulk Euthanasia Packages For The Whole Family
OTTAWA, CANADA—In a move to further streamline the most successful healthcare initiative…
After Discovering He’s Gay, Iran’s Supreme Leader Throws Himself Off Rooftop As Punishment
TEHRAN, IRAN — In a shocking act of ideological consistency, Iran’s new…
Don Lemon Thrilled After Being Brutally Raided And Handcuffed By Gang Of Masked White Men
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Former CNN anchor Don Lemon was reportedly…
Ford Releases New Trump-Inspired ‘F-U 150’ Truck
(PARODY) Commercial for Ford Motor Company's newest pickup truck, the Ford F-U…
European Leaders Deny UK Summit Was Just Another Cocaine-Fueled Gay Orgy
LONDON, UK-- Top officials from across Europe, including Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky,…
Jill Biden Spares Joe’s Sanity By Letting Him Believe Rubber Ducky Is Ashley
WILMINGTON, DELAWARE-- As the 83-year-old former Commander-in-Chief's cognitive decline continues to worsen,…
Brave UK Police Tackle Dangerous Stabbing Victim In Daring Arrest
LONDON, UK-- The Metropolitan Police Service has been showered with praise for…