DETROIT, MICHIGAN — Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed fired up a crowd of nearly 5,000 progressive supporters Saturday by executing a Republican during a campaign rally featuring former President Barack Obama, giving attendees a glimpse of the decisive leadership they could expect if Democrats regained control of Washington.
The execution reportedly took place midway through El-Sayed’s remarks, after the candidate explained that the country could no longer afford to tolerate the people standing in the way of progress. The crowd erupted into cheers as security personnel escorted a Republican man onto the stage, where El-Sayed briefly explained the importance of taking bold action before carrying out the execution.
“For too long, the Democratic Party has relied on lukewarm rhetoric and incremental solutions,” El-Sayed shouted to a roaring crowd of over 4,000 attendees. “The working class of Michigan doesn’t want another bipartisan study committee on corporate tax loop holes. They want results!”
Former President Obama, who spoke shortly after the execution, praised El-Sayed’s passion and energy, though he gently urged the crowd to stay focused on ballot delivery and not the fresh puddle of arterial spray near the podium.
At press time, the El-Sayed campaign announced that due to overwhelming demand, their next campaign stop in Grand Rapids would feature a live guillotine demonstration aimed at addressing Republican fascism.
