Biden Stumps For Talarico In Bid To Turn Out The Deceased Vote
AUSTIN, TEXAS — Former President Joe Biden traveled to Texas Monday to help…
Abdul El-Sayed Fires Up Progressive Crowd By Executing Republican During Rally
DETROIT, MICHIGAN — Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed fired up a crowd of…
India Seeks Public’s Help Identifying Serial Killer Suspected Of Killing 300,000 People
NEW DELHI, INDIA — Indian authorities appealed to the public Thursday for…
Russia Assures World Escaped Plague Bacteria Will Die Out After Killing Everyone
MOSCOW, RUSSIA — Russian officials assured the international community Monday that there was…
Tennessee Asks Canada For Help With Christa Pike Execution After Learning Canadian Doctors Have More Experience Killing People
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE — Tennessee officials announced Thursday that the state was turning to…
Canada Assures White Canadians MAID Will Make Room For Someone From Overseas
OTTAWA, CANADA — The Canadian government assured White Canadians this week that…
Mitch McConnell Takes Labor Day Off From Being Dead
WASHINGTON — After working tirelessly around the clock to appear fully deceased…
Georgia Authorities Rule HeeHaw The Donkey Died By Suicide After Shooting Himself Twice In Back Of Head
CEDARTOWN, GEORGIA—Putting to rest weeks of online speculation and public outrage, the…
Moderna Offers Free Tombstone To Anyone Getting New mRNA Flu Vaccine
CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS — Pharmaceutical giant Moderna announced Thursday that it is offering…
Congress Introduces Bill Allowing Dead Lawmakers To Continue Voting Via Ouija Board
WASHINGTON — In what congressional leaders hailed as a "common-sense modernization of government,"…
CNN Says Man’s Sexual Abuse Of Corpse Was Consensual
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- CNN has reported on the New York…
Canada Government Relieved After Hearing Executed Canadian Citizens In China Were Actually Just Euthanized
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After initially being angry at China for executing four Canadian…