Trump Escalates Trade War By Shrinking Canada By 50% On All U.S. Maps
WASHINGTON — In a dramatic escalation in the growing trade war with Canada,…
Canada Retaliates Against America By Instructing Border Guards To Aggressively Roll Their Eyes At U.S. Passports
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Following the sudden collapse of trade negotiations and the…
India Retaliates Against Visa Pause By Tripling IRS Arrest Warrants And Extended Car Warranty Scam Calls
NEW DELHI, INDIA — India announced Wednesday that it would retaliate against…
Doug Ford Threatens To Punish America By Stopping Ontario From Making Money
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Ontario Premier Doug Ford issued a stern warning to…
Texas Longhorn Forced To Sell Itself On Street Corner After Losing Job To Cheaper Foreign Cattle
FORT WORTH, TEXAS — A Texas Longhorn who spent years preparing for a…
Harry And Meghan Demand Privacy During Nationwide Publicity Tour To Announce Their Return To Britain
LONDON, UK — In a desperate bid to finally be left alone,…
North Korea Fears Trump’s Compliments Have Ruined Its Terrifying Dictatorship Reputation
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA — North Korean officials expressed growing concern Tuesday that…
Mark Carney Awards Himself ‘Employee Of The Year’
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney was honored with the prestigious…
Man Tries To Impress Date By Filling SUV With Premium Gas
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA — A local man reportedly attempted to impress his date Friday…
AOC Weeps Outside Empty Minnesota Daycare Over Thousands Of Imaginary Somali Children Being Deported
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — During an emotional press conference Friday outside an empty…
AOC Breaks Up With Fiancé, Gently Suggests They Should ‘Both See Other Men’
WASHINGTON — In a bittersweet end to a long-term political romance, Rep.…
Congress Condemns Reduced Vaccine Schedule For Threatening Health Of Their Stock Portfolios
WASHINGTON — Members of Congress expressed grave concern Monday over the Trump administration’s…