Liberal Asks Children If They Support Trump Before Giving Them Candy
PORTLAND, OREGON — Local liberal woman Karen Mitchell reportedly spent Halloween evening…
Newsom Accuses Trump Of Trying To Steal Elections Democrats Are Trying To Steal
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA – California Governor Gavin Newsom accused President Donald Trump Thursday…
Iran Considers Allowing Women To Smile In Private Provided No Men Can See Them
TEHRAN, IRAN — Iranian authorities announced Thursday that they were considering a…
God Asks James Talarico To Stop Speaking On His Behalf
HEAVEN — Putting out an emergency celestial statement to clear up what…
Biden Stumps For Talarico In Bid To Turn Out The Deceased Vote
AUSTIN, TEXAS — Former President Joe Biden traveled to Texas Monday to help…
Mark Carney Taps Newly Arrived Immigrant To Oversee Preservation Of Canadian Identity
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney announced Tuesday that newly arrived…
Lab Mice Replaced After Imported Foreign Mice Work For Less Cheese
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS — A team of biomedical researchers announced Thursday that it…
FBI Scours Police Blotters For Crimes It Can Pretend It Solved
WASHINGTON — In a bold bid to maintain the illusion of relevance,…
Macron Threatens To Punish Rioters By Making Them Remain In France
PARIS, FRANCE — French President Emmanuel Macron issued a stern warning to…
Pfizer Says Reports Of Side Effects Distract From Vaccine’s Positive Impact On Profits
NEW YORK — Pfizer executives expressed frustration that persistent reports of COVID…
Awkward Moment As Ilhan Omar Starts Flirting With Undercover James O’Keefe Disguised As Her Brother
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — Investigative journalist James O'Keefe reportedly found himself in an…
Mark Carney Calls Newsom For Advice On How To Rig Alberta’s Election
OTTAWA, CANADA — With Alberta voters heading to the polls to decide…