Biden Tells Black Juror He ‘Ain’t Black’ If He Votes To Convict Lindsay Clancy
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — Former President Joe Biden reportedly reached out to the…
Ilhan Omar Proposes Renaming 9/11 ‘National Day Of Unspecified Things Happening To Buildings’
WASHINGTON — Rep. Ilhan Omar introduced a resolution Friday proposing that September…
Indian Man Arrested For Vandalizing Neighborhood By Cleaning It Up
NEW DELHI, INDIA—Local authorities have arrested an Indian man who allegedly vandalized…
Ron Paul Chains Himself To Treasury To Stop Trump’s $5,000 Dividend
WASHINGTON — Former Congressman Ron Paul returned from retirement Thursday to chain…
‘Empire Strikes Back’ Scene Redubbed For New York TV: ‘No, I Am Your Non-Gestating Parent’
NEW YORK, NY — The iconic scene from The Empire Strikes Back…
UK Officials Ask Public To Stop Interfering With Government’s Efforts To Ignore The Border
LONDON, UK — British officials are asking members of the public to…
Lindsay Clancy Jury Deadlocked After Female Jurors Ask To Consult TikTok First
PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS — After spending nearly 18 hours reviewing evidence, listening to…
Trump Escalates Trade War By Shrinking Canada By 50% On All U.S. Maps
WASHINGTON — In a dramatic escalation in the growing trade war with Canada,…
Canada Retaliates Against America By Instructing Border Guards To Aggressively Roll Their Eyes At U.S. Passports
OTTAWA, ONTARIO — Following the sudden collapse of trade negotiations and the…
India Retaliates Against Visa Pause By Tripling IRS Arrest Warrants And Extended Car Warranty Scam Calls
NEW DELHI, INDIA — India announced Wednesday that it would retaliate against…
Doug Ford Threatens To Punish America By Stopping Ontario From Making Money
TORONTO, ONTARIO — Ontario Premier Doug Ford issued a stern warning to…
Texas Longhorn Forced To Sell Itself On Street Corner After Losing Job To Cheaper Foreign Cattle
FORT WORTH, TEXAS — A Texas Longhorn who spent years preparing for a…