MUMBAI, INDIA — Saying they had sacrificed everything to give him a head start in a highly competitive industry, local parents Rajeev and Sunita Sharma announced that they were officially evicting their 24-year-old son, Rohan, after discovering he had failed to scam a single elderly American woman out of her life savings.
The revelation sent shockwaves through the tight-knit Indian community in Mumbai’s suburbs, where scamming foreign retirees is considered a rite of passage for young men.
“We are utterly disappointed,” said Rohan’s mother, wiping away tears with her sari. “What kind of Indian boy can’t even steal from old people? He’s bringing shame to our family name.”
The devastating family confrontation reportedly began when Rajeev checked the household ledger and realized his son hadn’t secured a single Target or Google Play gift card in over three weeks of employment at a local illicit call center.
Rohan’s parents had high hopes for their son, being that his father was once crowned “King of the IRS Scam” by his peers for swindling over $1 million from gullible grannies in the United States.
In related news, India’s Ministry of Home Affairs announced plans to include scamming as part of its national curriculum starting next year. A spokesperson explained that failing generations must learn how to properly exploit foreigners if they hope to keep up with China economically.
