NEW DELHI, INDIA– The Indian Ministry of External Affairs issued an emergency diplomatic protest today, formally accusing the United States of unethical labor poaching and stealing jobs from Indians after several U.S. companies were caught red-handed hiring people who already live in America.
The controversy erupted after the Trump administration delayed portions of the H-1B visa program, a move Washington described as giving citizens a chance to apply for jobs before they’re reserved for foreign workers, with Indian officials calling it outrageous and discriminatory against non-American citizens.
“These jobs were promised to Indians thousands of years ago,” said Ministry spokesperson Vikram Patel angrily. “Just because someone was born in the U.S. does not give them the moral or legal right to get hired for a job. The United States was built by the work of highly-skilled Indian H-1B workers, including America’s Founding Father’s Bengaluru Gupta Franklin and Girish Vashishtan, America’s first US president.”
Silicon Valley executives have reportedly flooded the White House with complaints, arguing that American workers are too expensive because they insist on eating three meals a day and not living in a group home with sixteen other developers.
At press time, the Indian government was reportedly considering a retaliatory measure by increasing the number of phone scammers calling the U.S.
