MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA– Former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, reportedly unemployed and financially strapped, announced that he has opened his own Minnesota daycare center after learning how easily Somali-run fake child care operations were siphoning billions from state and federal programs.
The daycare, which lists its official address as a defunct laundromat, is Trudeau’s attempt to break into the lucrative Minnesota daycare fraud market, discovering that the fastest way to replace a lost prime ministerial salary is to bill the state of Minnesota for the lunches of 15,000 non-existent children.
“I’ve always felt a deep connection to the Somali community,” said Justin Trudeau when confronted by a pesky news reporter. “I’m honored to provide childcare services to all these nonexistent children that you don’t see running around in that nonexistent playground over there.”
To better blend in with the existing fraud ecosystem, Trudeau donned his controversial blackface while wearing Somali clothing and a large afro.
At press time, Trudeau announced plans to expand his operation into healthcare billing, refugee services, and climate justice nonprofits, all registered to the same empty address.
