WASHINGTON– Former VP Mike Pence has been in the spotlight lately after announcing that he is running for president in 2024 and has already made an offer to the fly that landed on his head during a debate with Kamala Harris a spot as his future vice president, but was harshly turned down when the fly told him that it could smell that Pence was full of crap a mile away.
During an interview with former Fox News host Tucker Carlson, the famous fly Flynn said that he knew Pence was a traitor even before January 2021 and tried to warn the world on national television by landing on the VP’s head and taking a crap on him in protest of the establishment politician.
“I have a very keen sense of smell when it comes to RINOs and wolves in sheep’s clothing,” said the fly in a very high-pitched voice. “Being that I’m a fly, I can easily blend into situations without humans noticing. I won’t get into too many details, but my cousin Frank was a fly on the wall in Pence’s office while he was governor of Indiana and let’s just say he was witness to something that Magic Mike doesn’t want anyone to know about.”
A large majority of Republican voters claim Pence let down the country when he refused to follow the rule of law while serving under President Donald Trump, causing his former supporters to now refer to him as Judas Pence, 30 Pence, Benedict Pence, and Vice President Ephialtes.
Pence chose the fly as a possible VP pick after he was turned down by himself as a possible running mate to himself.
In addition, Pence told future voters that he won’t make the same mistake as he did last time, promising when he’s president he’ll make sure that his vice president actually rejects the illegitimate electoral results this time after the Democrats peacefully steal the election once again.
In order to try to win back the support of America’s conservatives and evangelicals, Pence recently rebranded his image by dying his hair blonde, renaming his wife “Melania,” and telling everyone he plans on doing everything much more “huge” than the last president did.
