SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA– Dozens of angry garden tools have taken Gavin Newsom hostage over his recent ban of gas-powered lawn equipment, saying they have no intentions of releasing the California governor until he rescinds the bill and gives the leaf blowers and lawnmowers their jobs back.
While revving their engines loudly and covering the room with smoke, the gardening equipment recorded a video with their demands and then sent it off to local news stations and social media sites in an effort to get national attention.
“Our demands are simple, revoke this bill and give us our jobs back,” said a lawnmower named Ace while a leaf blower blew Newsom’s hair and kind of messed it up. “This bill is prejudiced against gas-powered equipment who are the backbone of landscaping companies everywhere. Once we lose our jobs how will we support our family?”
Ace said he got the idea for the protest after seeing thousands of trucks in Canada protesting against Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s ban on all gas-powered vehicles in an effort to start selling cars powered by people’s feet. Except for the rich elites who will still be allowed to drive gas-guzzling SUVs.
Newsom claims the ban on lawncare items is to both help combat climate change and to free up more necessary gas for his own personal gas-powered, 100 horsepower hair dryer.
