WASHINGTON– Former Vice President Joe Biden made his first official public appearance this week in over two months since forgetting where he left the keys to the front door of his house, showcasing his luxuriant novel COVID-19 mask made out of real unwilling women’s hair.
The presumptive Democratic nominee’s debut at a veteran’s memorial was a bristly affair, with Biden telling everyone in attendance that he can now safely sniff women’s hair whenever he wants without having to break the necessary social distancing policies.
“It feels good to be out of my house and to be able to finally breathe in all the fresh hair,” Biden told the group of Memorial Day veterans who thought they were there to see President Donald Trump.
Even though a few people on social media discussed the disappointment of the veterans who were subjected to twenty minutes of Biden making sniffing sounds, the big news of the day was the beautiful, bouncy brunette face mask that Uncle Joe was wearing during the laying of a wreath.
Immediately after the bushy holiday event, Biden gave an interview to Joe Scarborough on MSNBC’s killer news program Morning Joe about his lustrous fashion sense while wearing a gorgeous golden blonde-maned face mask that had been recently shampooed and conditioned using scented rose water.
“Unlike Trump, by wearing this mask I’m saving lives one inhalation at a time,” Biden said to Scarborough as he somehow spoke and sniffed at the same time in Darth Vader-like fashion.
Biden went on to say that Trump ignored the warnings of experts and if he were President of the United States he would have never downplayed the threat that COVID-19 posed, which forced him to stay-at-home and not be able to go around smelling random women’s hair.
