Japanese Government Assures Public It Has Learned Nothing From Europe
TOKYO, JAPAN — The Japanese government assured concerned citizens Wednesday that it…
Mark Carney Taps Newly Arrived Immigrant To Oversee Preservation Of Canadian Identity
OTTAWA, CANADA — Prime Minister Mark Carney announced Tuesday that newly arrived…
Lab Mice Replaced After Imported Foreign Mice Work For Less Cheese
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS — A team of biomedical researchers announced Thursday that it…
UK Defends Mass Immigration By Noting At Least None Of The Migrants Speak German
LONDON, UK — Facing intense scrutiny over record-high immigration figures and the…
France Celebrates Successful Immigrant Assimilation
PARIS, FRANCE — In a triumphant press conference held in front of…
EU Solves Immigration Crisis By Making Canada An Associate Member
BRUSSELS — The European Union announced Wednesday that it had solved its…
Republicans Promise To Protect American Workers By Replacing Them Legally
WASHINGTON — Republicans across the country unveiled a bold new plan Monday…
UK Officials Ask Public To Stop Interfering With Government’s Efforts To Ignore The Border
LONDON, UK — British officials are asking members of the public to…
UK Police Assure Residents They Have Knife Crime Under Control As Long As They Avoid All Dangerous Areas, People, Activities, And Leaving The House
LONDON, UK — In a highly anticipated press conference inside Scotland Yard,…
Britain Solves Spanish Border Crisis By Dispatching Ferry To Bring Moroccans Directly To The UK
LONDON, UK — Declaring that every international crisis is merely an opportunity…
CNN Warns Mass Haitian Deportations Will Cause Humanitarian Crisis Due To Shortage Of Cats To Eat
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — Following the Supreme Court's recent decision allowing the Trump…
Republicans Celebrate Amnesty Deal Where Democrats Got Everything And Republicans Pretended To Fight
WASHINGTON — House Republicans held a triumphant press conference Tuesday celebrating what…