AUSTIN, TEXAS– A 5-year-old boy has been accused of leaving his almost 40-year-old father inside of a hot car during the summer Texas heat for over three weeks while he left town on a business trip to Japan, causing authorities to question why the grown man didn’t just simply let himself out of the vehicle.
Police received a report by angry business owners of a man who had been sitting inside of his car for almost a month, saying the valuable parking spot could have gone to potential customers and are now suing the 5-year-old boy for $69 million due to possible lost sales.
“The father who was left inside the unlocked car was a little dazed, but otherwise fine,” said Lieutenant Frank Drebin while urinating in public. “Once we rescued the adult male from the car, he was returned home and made a full recovery after spending the next three days watching sports and porn.”
Authorities said when they rescued Dad from his son’s vehicle the temperature inside of the car was a balmy 269 degrees, causing the man to sweat a little.
“It was almost three hundred degrees inside the vehicle with all the windows up,” said Lt. Drebin as he zipped up his pants. “Thankfully it wasn’t too hot in there or maybe ole Dad might’ve been a little uncomfortable.”
The boy is facing a charge of parent neglect for leaving his father unattended inside a car for twenty-two days, with a punishment of a spanking and no dessert for a month.
