TRIANGLE, VIRGINIA– During an Earth Day event at Prince William Forest Park, President Joe Biden and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) came together to tackle one of the biggest climate change questions affecting the environment of whether it’s actually true that a bear craps in the woods.
The young New York Representative AOC led the older more mature Biden by the hand as the two intellectually gifted Democrats made their way into the thick forest, looking for any signs that there were big teddy bears out there pooping somewhere.
“We must take climate change more seriouslyer,” said AOC in an Earth Day speech, whom MSNBC called the next Winston Churchill. “If we’re ever going to be able to stop this dangerous climate change phenomenon then we must get to the bottom of some of the environment’s most pressing issues, like whether there’s cute teddy bears out there pooping in our woods.”
AOC went on to say that if indeed bears are pooping in the woods then perhaps Biden can address the issue with an executive order mandating that all bears wear diapers.
“No bears should be adding all that dangerous carbon by pooping in the woods,” said AOC while Biden did his part for the environment by bending over and fertilizing some nice green grass. “If I had to guess I would say that bears are not pooping in the woods because I have many teddy bears at home that I still haven’t seen poop inside of my house.”
While AOC gave her riveting speech, Biden had wandered off deeper into the woods and gotten lost. After searching for five minutes, Secret Service called off the search since Biden’s really useless and unnecessary anyway.
