NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– Fox News Channel released a statement this week outlining their plans for their network if their ratings to continue to plummet, teasing their former conservative audience with promises of true, accurate reporting if things start to get worse.
The former conservative news outlet’s high ratings disappeared almost overnight after their well-paid hosts took turns burning photos of President Donald Trump on Election Day as they called all 50 states for Joe Biden long before 8 p.m.
As every mainstream media station rushed to see who could stop Trump from winning the election on November 3, Fox News took first prize at showing their competitors the best way to lose almost an entire audience in one day.
After some reflection, Fox News headquarters was faced with a tough decision on whether to keep pushing their anti-Trump, pro-Biden narrative and keep losing money, or pretend to like Trump again in an effort to win back their former fans and start lining their pockets once again.
In the official statement, they informed their former loyal viewers that if ratings continue to fall then perhaps they will start integrating a few accurate facts within the rest of the fake news stories taking up the majority of the airtime on their liberal network.
On a recent Fox News episode, devious host Brian Kilmeade gave an opening monologue where he apologized for turning against his former conservative audience and promised he’ll try to do a better job at deceiving everyone into thinking he’s not simply toeing the line for his multimillion dollar paycheck.
