HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA– Late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel announced Sunday morning that he was all ready for tonight’s Oscars award program and made a solemn promise to everyone that he will try his best to resist the temptation to talk about Donald Trump as much as humanly possible.
Kimmel wrote on his Twitter X account that he had his team of writers try to come up with some new material that wasn’t related to former President Trump, and said there will be some new jokes that people have never heard before.
“I’m going to do my best and not mention the name ‘Trump’ as much as I can,” wrote Kimmel with the hashtag #NotMentioningTrump. “I mean, I’m sure there has to be something else I can talk about. I know I talk about Trump nonstop on my Jimmy Kimmel Live show, on all my interviews, at every previous Oscar show, and even in my sleep, but this Oscars awards show will be a lot more Trump-less. Did I mention that I won’t be saying the name ‘Trump’ as much?”
Witnesses close to Kimmel said they were worried about Kimmel due to the fact that he has been pacing around his home and sweating bullets while mumbling that he couldn’t talk about how much he hates Trump at the upcoming celebrity awards show.
“Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump,” yelled Kimmel while practicing his opening monologue in front of his aides. “Don’t worry, everyone. I’m just trying to get Trump out of my system before I go live tonight. It’s going to be tough having to tell jokes that aren’t about Trump’s orange skin and Trump going to prison, but after having a little meeting with Hunter Biden I’m sure I’ll be able to do this.”
Once his highly talented Hollywood writers finished his Oscars material, they were able to get the Trump jokes down to only 80 percent of the total script, drawing the ire of Kimmel who told them it was way too low. “I didn’t want Trump cut down that much, guys. I mean, what else am I gonna talk about?”
