MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — In what’s being called a Somalian 4D chess move, Rep. Ilhan Omar has reportedly deflected attention from lingering questions about her alleged ties to Minnesota’s exploding Somali daycare fraud empire by unveiling a brand-new, completely fabricated California winery scam that’s already netting her and her husband millions of dollars.
According to anonymous sources, Ilhan Omar has been facing scrutiny over the empty Quality Learing Centers billing Minnesota for thousands of phantom toddlers, so she decided the best way to get people to forget about one fraud scandal was to create another fraud scandal.
“Look, the daycare thing is old news, time to move on,” Omar said, drinking from an empty wine glass. “But this winery? Pure innovation. We’re talking millions in one year. I’d really hate it if some citizen journalist started investing my winery. Wink-wink.”
Democrat strategists are calling Omar’s winery scam a brilliant move to forget about all of her other previous alleged scams.
As federal agents swarm Minneapolis to investigate both schemes, Omar reportedly began planning her next distraction by starting a chain of crypto mining centers called “Quality Criptoe Minning Centers.”
