HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA– In preparation for the upcoming Donald Trump administration, late night host Jimmy Kimmel began practicing his standard “Trump is going to prison any second now” monologues that he plans on saying on every episode of the Jimmy Kimmel Live! show for the next four years.
Jimmy Kimmel was in tears after Trump beat Democrat Kamala Harris in a landslide election victory on November 5 because he can’t live without Trump in his life and was ecstatic that he can now talk about Trump on every show, every week, every month, and every year for the next four years.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever said this before, but Trump’s going to prison,” said Kimmel to his bathroom mirror while sitting down to pee. “The walls are closing in on that orange-skinned buffoon and his orange jumpsuit is waiting for him inside of his jail cell.”
After reaching for a tampon, Kimmel finished practicing his monologue while shoving it inside, saying, “Mark my words. Trump’s a criminal and by this time next year he’ll be wearing an orange jumpsuit on that orange skin of his. Wow, these jokes of mine are so funny and hilarious. I can’t believe it only takes a team of 169 writers to come up with this gold.”
Kimmel says he also plans on unveiling some new comedic material, including a few funny one-liners such as, “Trump’s going to prison any second now,” “The walls are closing in on Trump,” and “Trump’s going to prison any second now because the walls are closing in on Trump.”
