PARIS, FRANCE– The President of France Emmanuel Macron has officially made a statement in an effort to quell the growing anger around the world after Algerian male boxer Imane Khelif beat up a female boxer during the women’s competition, saying that Khelif is definitely just as much of a real woman as his own wife Brigitte.
Emmanuel Macron reassured the millions of irate people around the world that there’s nothing to be upset about because he gives everyone his word that both his wife and also the Algerian boxer are both just masculine-looking women.
“I give you my word as a Frenchman that both of these beautiful ladies were born female,” said Macron as he crossed his fingers behind his back. “It’s horrible that so many ignorant people would accuse a woman of being a man, just because she has beard stubble, pees standing up, and must wear a cup to protect her very feminine testicles.”
According to the International Olympic Committee, athletes are considered female as long as their testicles don’t hang lower than their penis, and cited anonymous scientific studies to back up their claims of what they deem is a woman.
The French president also claimed that it is quite normal for women such as his wife to constantly leave the toilet seat up inside of the home.
“Isn’t that what all women do?’ Macron asked in bewilderment.
