OTTAWA, CANADA– Frantic and crying uncontrollably, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau gave an urgent press conference Tuesday morning with his face partially covered in women’s makeup, begging the truckers to please start delivering again to replenish his favorite mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick that he ran out of yesterday.
“I have a critical message for all the truckers who are protesting against my mandates,” said Trudeau as his mascara leaked down his face due to the constant sobbing. “I’m begging you, please, make your deliveries again. I’ll do anything if you just bring me my favorite makeup.”
A once arrogant Trudeau never took into consideration the fact that the freedom truckers not only deliver food and other goods, but they also deliver makeup and women’s panties, the two things the prime minster definitely can’t live without.
While down on one knee begging the truckers for forgiveness, Trudeau said, “I’m sorry for all the harsh mandates I put into effect, but I was simply following Klaus Schwab’s orders. But I don’t care what horrific things he does to me, it’s worth it just to get my makeup. Without wearing makeup every day my wife is almost starting to think that I’m a real man who likes women.”
Trudeau also told the truckers to bring him some disposable razors to shave with, lifting up his pantleg to show reporters the stubbly hair growing back on his legs.
After hearing Trudeau’s desperate message, the truckers said they’re going to give the protest a few more days to see how Trudeau is holding up after he also runs out of tampons.
