TEHRAN, IRAN — Following President Donald Trump’s controversial suggestion that Iran could “take out” Los Angeles or San Diego during a rally in Nebraska Monday, Iranian officials announced Tuesday that they had formally applied for a permit to nuke Los Angeles, sources confirmed.
According to the 847-page application submitted to California state regulators, Iran has requested permission to detonate a nuclear weapon within Los Angeles city limits sometime before the end of the year, pending completion of all required environmental reviews, public hearings, zoning approvals, and safety inspections.
“We were under the impression that President Trump had given us permission,” said Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesman Esmail Baghaei. “But then we spoke with California and discovered there is a process to destroy the West Coast.”
California officials reportedly informed Tehran that although the state has no objection to discussing the possibility of a nuclear strike in principle, Iran would still be required to obtain the appropriate permits before proceeding.
“I want to make it absolutely clear that California does not take threats to our residents lightly,” said Governor Gavin Newsom. “Iran will have to fill out the proper paperwork like everyone else.”
At press time, Iran was reportedly considering abandoning its nuclear strike on Los Angeles after learning that the permit application alone carried a $14,000 processing fee and required the applicant to schedule an in-person appointment three months in advance.
