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Home » SPORTS » American News Media Praises China’s Use Of Uyghur Prisoners As Human Torches To Light Olympic Cauldron

SPORTS

American News Media Praises China’s Use Of Uyghur Prisoners As Human Torches To Light Olympic Cauldron

Daily Soak Staff
Last updated: February 5, 2022 9:53 am
Daily Soak Staff
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Parody China Olympics with a man holding a Uyghur prisoner's head over the Olympic cauldron.
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BEIJING, CHINA– Various American leftwing news media outlets are praising China’s stunning use of Uyghur slaves as human torches to light the Olympic cauldron, commending the communist country for their efforts to be more inclusive.

The Olympic flame was set ablaze early this week after Chinese soldiers lit the heads of Uyghur prisoners on fire and then held them over the Olympic cauldron to set off this year’s games.

“China’s innovating and inspiring use of Uyghurs as human torches was the most beautiful display in history,” wrote one progressive columnist after depositing Chinese payoff money into his bank account. “The rest of the world needs to take notice and follow China’s successful strategy of being more inclusive. This should finally put an end to everyone claiming there’s human rights abuses going on in China.”

Numerous NBA players also came out and defended China’s spectacular use of Uyghur slaves in the Olympic flame lighting ceremony, claiming that the prisoners should be thanking President Xi Jinping’s generosity at letting them take part in this year’s historic games.

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The Joe Biden administration put out a statement in support of China’s progressive move to use the enslaved Muslim population as human torches and said that America will soon be employing a similar strategy by using the January 6th political prisoners as mortar for the new wall being built around the Capitol Building.

⚠️ This highly acclaimed article is satire.

TAGGED:ChinaCommunismPrisonRated PGXi Jinping

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