ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY– With the price of eggs continuing to rise, pimps across the United States have been trading in their prostitutes for chickens and many are claiming that they are making even more money selling the bird’s eggs than they ever were selling the women’s bodies for sex.
While surrounded by his feathered girls on a busy street corner, a local pimp named Shoofly told news reporters that eggs have become a hot commodity due to their exorbitant prices and people from all over have been flocking to buy cheap eggs from his harem of sexy chickens.
“I got ’em all, baby, white eggs, brown eggs, whatever color of eggs turns you on,” said Shoofly as his little clucking chickens worked over a few male customers. “My girls are the cutest in town and produce more eggs than any other chickens in the city. I make more money selling their products than I ever did pimping out those female hoes.”
Experts have predicted that the cost of eggs will only continue to rise as President Joe Biden takes the country in the complete opposite direction of where it should be, prompting more and more pimps to ditch their hookers and start acquiring chickens for a more lucrative career.
“My chickens work much harder than my human hoes ever did,” said Shoofly while shaking down one of his chickens for money. “And if one of my birds ever gets out of line or asks for more money all I gotta do is eat some fried chicken in front of their stunned faces and that shuts them up real quick.”
Due to an excessive amount of harassment by government officials for selling eggs so cheap, Shoofly was forced to give up the chicken profession and go back to the much safer and more respectable prostitution business.
