MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA — The Minnesota Weather Service issued a statewide Mugging Advisory on Friday, forecasting a 90% chance of robbery throughout the Twin Cities this evening, with scattered purse snatchings expected to spread into surrounding suburbs after sunset.
“We’re seeing a large low-pressure crime system drifting eastward through Minneapolis,” said chief meteorologist Dave Larson while gesturing toward a color-coded radar map displaying icons of masked stick figures relieving pedestrians of their wallets. “Residents should expect sustained muggings through the evening commute, with isolated carjackings possible after dark.”
According to the seven-day forecast, Friday will bring mostly sunny skies with a 20% chance of drizzle and a 90% chance of being politely asked for your phone at gunpoint. Saturday’s outlook predicts lower humidity, higher temperatures, and favorable conditions for catalytic converter theft.
Meteorologists pointed to an animated Doppler radar showing a dense band of robberies sweeping across Minneapolis before weakening slightly over St. Paul and then intensifying again wherever someone looked like they had just gotten paid.
At press time, the Minnesota Weather Service had extended its Mugging Advisory through the weekend while noting there was a slight chance of law enforcement sometime next Tuesday.
