WASHINGTON– After having no further use for himself as Commander-in-Chief, Joe Biden has been relegated to using his head as a paperweight on order by his handlers who admitted that the president can’t even screw things up properly anymore.
Not only can Biden not do anything positive for the country, he can’t even follow simple orders to continue the controlled demolition of the country in order to usher in the new world order.
“People didn’t believe me when I said never underestimate Joe’s ability to f**k things up,” said former President Barack Obama, one of Biden’s handlers. “Joe can’t even follow the simplest of directions that I tell him into his earpiece. If I tell him to walk left, he goes backwards. If I tell him to send a billion dollars to Ukraine, he flushes it down the toilet instead. It’s frustrating as hell.”
Obama said he came up with the idea of using Biden’s empty cranium as a paperweight to hold down secret classified documents onto the Resolute Desk inside the Oval Office because Joe sleeps most of the day anyway.
At publishing time, Biden had also failed at using his head as a paperweight after moving it to smell an intern’s hair, causing all the documents to fly out the window and blow around the downtown Washington, DC area.
