MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– Yet another controversy has hit Sesame Street after Muppet character Oscar the Grouch told producers that he no longer felt comfortable having men shove their hands up his puppet hole because he is heterosexual and asked for only female puppeteers, leading protesters to label Oscar homophobic and call for his termination from the popular children’s show.
Producers called Oscar into their office and gave him the option to either make a public apology and tell the world that he’s gay or face termination and get canceled for being a straight male Muppet.
“The Sesame Street company does not tolerate homophobia, especially on LGBT History Month,” said Jonathan Goldsteinbergowitz, Jr., a representative for the company. “We gave Oscar the Grouch the opportunity to apologize by letting one of our gay puppeteers brutally fist his puppet hole live on air, but he refused so we had no other choice but to end his contract with our studio.”
When reached for comment, Oscar said he wasn’t homophobic and that he let numerous male puppeteers shove their hands up his hole for years, but decades of having his hole stretched has taken a toll on his physical as well as mental health.
Oscar’s lawyer claims that the Muppet was abused by many men in the studio who would shove their hands deeper into his puppet hole than necessary while whispering into his green ear that they know he’s enjoying it and that Oscar should just come out of the closet of his trashcan.
In order to make up for the homophobic Oscar the Grouch controversy, Sesame Street will be doing a special future Pride Month episode showing Bert and Ernie shoving their hands into each other’s puppet holes to move each other’s mouths.
