WASHINGTON– In a show of major confidence, President Joe Biden has threatened Vladimir Putin by telling the Russian president that his army is no match for the highly skilled crossdressing members of the United States military.
To put the fear of God into Putin, the White House put out a video on Monday showing hundreds of crossdressing US soldiers training in various military exercises, such as applying lipstick, adjusting their thigh-high stockings, and bitch-slapping each other across the face, but not too hard because it could’ve hurt.
“Putin’s army is no match for the inclusivity of the US military, Jack,” said Biden with confidence, flexing his 120 pound presidential muscles. “Our highly trained transgender servicemen would destroy the Russian army in seconds. I’d love to see Putin’s men try to put on their frilly, white panties in less than fifteen seconds like our hairless guys do.”
Biden said he has no qualms about sending US army men wearing dresses and high-heels over to Russia to teach Putin a lesson if he harms even one hair on the backside of Ukraine’s President Zelensky.
“As soon as Putin’s men see our rainbow flags they’ll be running away in defeat,” claimed Biden.
In case the US decides to follow up on their veiled threat of sending men dressed as women over to Russia’s border, Putin says he’s already prepared his first line of defense made up of five and six year olds.
