ATLANTA, GEORGIA– Major League Baseball has decided to relocate the 2021 All-Star Game out of Atlanta and over to Beijing, China in response to Georgia’s recent election regulations that the organization says is simply “un-American.”
The league made the stunning and brave announcement on Friday after receiving word that China’s President Xi Jinping was furious with the state of Georgia’s audacity to make their elections more secure and to help expand voting to more people.
MLB Commissioner-In-Training Bobby Eunuch says the move was the best way the MLB could let China know that the baseball league doesn’t stand for U.S. states that go against core Democratic voting values, such as ballot stuffing, vote switching, dead voters, and multiple ballot scanning.
“Georgia’s new voting law is a disgusting example of what happens when Republicans start doing their jobs,” Eunuch said as he readjusted his nonexistent testicles. “This insane law is racist, homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic, sexist, arachnophobic, carcinogenic, body dysmorphic, and just plain mean.”
Resident Biden announced his support of the league’s decision to send the All-Star game back to his hometown of Beijing, saying Georgia politicians should be ashamed of themselves and should try to have more honest elections just like they do in Communist China.
“I fully support the NFL’s decision to pull the NBA Finals out of Seattle,” Biden said through nine face masks. “This election fraud baloney is more conspiracy theory nonsense cooked up by President Trump to help colored people have the same voting rights as white people. Us Democrats send mail-in ballots to black folk’s homes to help them because they don’t know how to use a map to find voting centers.”
