PORTLAND, OREGON– It looks like another needy coronavirus vaccine has found a new home.
A woman from Portland recently announced on her Twitter account that she is the proud new mother of an angelic COVID-19 vaccine only two days after getting an abortion to rid herself of the burden of taking care of a real human baby.
Nancy Clinton, a 28 year old Democrat form Oregon, says she made the best decision of her life when she got rid of the pesky thing inside of her belly and then adopted one of the cutest, little vaccines that she has already named after her idol Dr. Anthony Fauci.
“Every woman should do the right thing and adopt her very own living, breathing COVID vaccine,” Nancy said as she breastfed her nursing syringe. “If I didn’t abort that annoying thing punching the inside of my belly I may never have adopted this beautiful creature that’s jabbing into my nipple right now.”
Blue-haired Nancy said she feeds her son multiple times a day by letting him stick his needle into her flesh.
“The moment I saw my little Anthony Fauci staring up at me from a table in the back alleyway where they were giving out injections I knew I had to take him home with me and give him a good life.”
Nancy went on to say that her vaccine became available for adoption because some crazy right-winger refused to get their totally safe and side effect-free shot.
“Conservatives are sick and disgusting people, putting the lives of babies before vaccines,” Nancy added with a look of disgust. “What kind of sick world do we live in where those people want to bring an ugly clump of cells into the world but refuse to take in a perfectly adorable vaccine like my little Anthony?”
